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    Why does my husband ignore me?

    Asked Dec 3, 2013, 09:47 AM — 7 Answers
    I'm married since 6 years to my husband. We had sex like only on the first six month of our marriage. Now he does not even talk to me. When I try to start a conversation he's always angry, prefer playing games on internet. He can spend time on porn but not one eye on me.

    I've tried to bring this topic with him, so many times. He does not answer. I love my husband and want the loving person that he was back. I am a woman and I want to be loved like any other woman. He's 40 and am 28. We had an arranged marriage .

    This kind of life does not satisfy me but I want to improve it .He does not want to see any doctor or follow any therapy.

    Thank you

    Last edited by talaniman; Dec 3, 2013 at 02:51 PM.
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    7 Answers
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,692, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert

    Dec 3, 2013, 01:02 PM
    If he won't see a doctor and won't go to counseling, then there is little else you can do. You either accept it or get a divorce at that point. There is no magic cure if he doesn't even want to deal with it at all.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert

    Dec 3, 2013, 02:45 PM

    There is no guarantee that any marriage will work, arranged or not.

    But, regardless of how the marriage came about, there comes a time where, as it is with you, even basic needs are not being met. When the husband, in your case, ignores you, and dismisses your needs, and is unwilling to address issues, I don't know what you can do, except leave and divorce him.

    You say you love him, and I wonder if, at his age (40), he was under a lot of pressure to marry, and where he has ended up now, has resulted in bitterness, more than love. Expectations to marry under an arranged system, don't always allow parties to know each other well enough, or long enough, to know what they are getting into.

    I do hope that you can enlist the help of your parents, in order to express how unhappy you are. They may eventually come to realize that the marriage is just not going to work, and would help you out of the marriage.

    All the best of luck to you.
    Brian12's Avatar
    Brian12 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 4, 2013, 07:29 AM
    Be better in the bedroom... tease him with your clothes hair... make an extra effort.. if he's looking at porn.. your not doing enough for him.. up to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,315, Reputation: 10828

    Dec 4, 2013, 07:42 AM
    Does he object to you having your own social life with friends, family, and activities that you enjoy? More than likely his ignoring you is based in not knowing how, or his idea of what a happy house is different than yours.

    Without honest communications there can be no bonds built, or resolutions to issues that come up. If this has been going along for most of this arranged marriage then I can see your frustrations but talking is the only way out. Finding out how is difficult, but you have to sit him down and express yourself, whether he gets mad or NOT.
    aliseaodo's Avatar
    aliseaodo Posts: 1,669, Reputation: 259
    Movie Expert

    Dec 5, 2013, 10:01 AM
    Be better in the bedroom... tease him with your clothes hair... make an extra effort.. if he's looking at porn.. your not doing enough for him.. up to you.
    Hmmm... terrible advice.
    Helpful (1)
    MtnJoy's Avatar
    MtnJoy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 10, 2013, 10:21 AM
    I'm sorry to hear of your communication struggles with your husband. It's apparent that you love him and are wanting to make it work. Maybe a first step would be to simply spend time together doing other things than just talking. Then while you are enjoying an activity together, the communication or talking may naturally come. You'll have a common interest to talk about. I looked for some other communication helps that might help you and found this article. Check it out ~ perhaps there is a gem in there that could help you out.

    Also, you mentioned that your husband is viewing porn online. For further help on this matter, I'd encourage you to check out the website There is a lot of good information there.

    Sending prayers and hugs your way! Stay hopeful.
    ANGIE4124's Avatar
    ANGIE4124 Posts: 67, Reputation: 23
    Junior Member

    Dec 17, 2013, 04:56 PM
    Sadly you’re married to a man who’s married to the internet and porn, not to you as a woman. He cares very little for your needs and he will not return to the loving person he was… Be that it was only 6 months out of 6 years!

    Clearly he does not intend to satisfy you, as he sees no reason to see a doctor, get therapy/counselling or even talk to you as he should to his own wife. For me, that is not a marriage, but a marriage of convenience or an arranged marriage where you dance to his tune – suffer and weep under his rule :( Would I be right in saying; you still cook and keep house for him in the meantime while he goes about pleasing himself like a single man?

    Therefore you’ll have to weigh up the cost of staying married to such a man… Your love, talents and youth will all be wasted in waiting for him to improve! I’m sure even arranged marriages can have arranged Divorces or separations, and whilst this may appear humiliating, it should not reflect on you as he is the one who bought shame on this marriage.

    Best of luck

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