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    chasesgirl's Avatar
    chasesgirl Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 19, 2008, 07:50 AM
    Why do I feel like this
    I am totally in love with my husband.In fact I believe he's my soulmate.he tells me everyday that he loves me and I'm the only one he wants.I am his 3rd wife.his first he was young and his 2nd well lets just say she's nuts.so I don't know why I feel like I'm a number in his life, he has a had it tough with both woman and looks at me as his queen just because I make him dinner and do laundry.im so insecure with myself and I fel like he just says things I want to hear.I know he does love me so why do I feel like he's a liar when he says things,
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #2

    Mar 19, 2008, 09:34 AM
    There's not nearly enough information here to answer "why". You don't believe his words, but do his actions prove him out? For guys, love is a decision (mostly) and if his actions show him to be attentive, loving, caring, faithful, reliable, supportive... well, then your attitude about it doesn't negate the facts. Does it?

    He IS those things, so you'll just have to settle for being married to someone who loves you. Sorry if that bothers you and I bet if you really work hard, you'll eventually find some crack in his armor and find some way to sabatoge your marriage. Is that what you want?

    You're not his "third" wife, you're his WIFE. You aren't his "third wife" until there's a fourth. Push him away with actions that match your insecurities and you're going to MAKE this happen, and that won't be anyone's fault but your own.

    Give yourself the freedom to enjoy your marriage. Act loving, trust the man's actions, when insecurities creep in, DO something loving for him instead of acting on the insecurities.

    Have a good life. It's OK. We give you permission.
    the1unv's Avatar
    the1unv Posts: 285, Reputation: 31
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    #3

    Mar 19, 2008, 12:55 PM
    I think JBeaucaire hit the nail on the head with this one.
    Mike
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #4

    Mar 19, 2008, 03:50 PM
    Sounds like you need to do as Jbeaucaire said and put some spark in your marriage.
    It sounds like you are like many couples that just go through the day to day motions of being married and love each other but fallen into a rut. Like JB said you have to turn your insecurities into something *loving.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Mar 20, 2008, 11:07 AM
    Come on, don't let those insecure feeling ruin something good. If you need help ask for it, but work on loving yourself, and being positive. Maybe its time for a check up, and an honest talk with a doctor.
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