In Brief: I have been married 7 yrs. My wife and I are late 30's. I thought things were good in the relationship with my wife. My wife had enough of my controlling and "take over" way that I handled the relationship. So, she started going out with some single friends in Feb 2007. First weeknights.. then Fri or Sat nights. We were still having sex... and overall things were "good" (I thought).

March 24 she meets "hunk" in singles bar. He literally asks if he can have sex with her (after knowing her 1 hour). She says yes. She leaves later with him and then has sex (I am on a camping trip with our 5 year old adopted son at the time). She thinks that is the end... and feels bad (she later tells me). Next wekend though she and friends go to same bar... and he is there. She does not want to talk to him... but does and... guess what... sex again at his place. She even comes home to me at 2am (we then we even have sex!! ).

2 weeks later... I find text message with her trying to now initialte a meeting. The truth is now out. (I "felt" something wrong so I snooped)

After lots of talking, tears, therapy... we are on the right road. BUT - I cannot forget and cannot seem to get over the trust issue. She HAS been TRUTHFUL and she LOVES ME. THis is the only time she has done this. I don't think she will do it again. She admits the mistake and is remorseful.

But - when will I get over this? Can I? Should I? Is it really posisible to build a better relationship? I DO feel we have a better communication platform now and a more "equal" relationship (in most ways). BUT BUT BUT - the betrayal eats away at me. Many people say that time will heal... but HOW? I want her to feel the pain I do... but how can I let it all go and focus on our relationship... should I?

How do I stay committed to this person for the rest of my life feeling the way I do and knowing what she "did to me".

Thank you in advance for your advice...