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victoria_mitchell · Jun 4, 2007, 11:24 AM

I'm 19 and I want to get engaged to my boyfriend who is 24. We've been together for a year now but I've known him for 4 years total. He's said that he wants to marry me and that someday we will get married. I just feel like if we don't get engaged soon we could fall apart due to our conflicting/busy scheduals at work. I'm not in a rush and neither is he All I am wondering is::::::: Am I being "fair/reasonable" to WANT him to purpose to me soon and do you think I'm too young to be engaged??

(I won't get married until I'm at least 21)

NowWhat · Jun 4, 2007, 12:04 PM

I don't think you are to young to be engaged. But, having a ring on your finger isn't going to change the possibility of the two of you drifting apart due your schedules. You just have to continue to work on the relationship. Forcing a proposal could lead to resentment (that he wasn't ready) or leave him questioning if this is what he really wants. He will know when he is ready. I wouldn't push this.
If you love each other and know you want to be together till death do you part - then it will happen ring or no ring.
Good Luck.

victoria_mitchell · Jun 4, 2007, 01:05 PM

Thank you. I agree as well :)

purple-hearts · Jun 4, 2007, 01:06 PM

Being engaged isn't going to keep you together when things are tough at work, being engaged isn't going to make any difference whatsoever.
In my mind you get engaged because you love them and want to marry them, not because you think that not being engaged would split you up.

alkalineangel · Jun 4, 2007, 01:40 PM

Yes, nothing really changes with engagement or marriage, other that its "official" and harder to leave if there is a problem. Being engaged or married will not keep you from having problems. Why not wait. I wouldn't push him, or you may push him away.

talaniman · Jun 4, 2007, 01:56 PM

You could be engaged, and still things can fall apart. Let yourself grow a little before deciding on the rest of your life, and this is a decision for two people, not one. Sounds good to you now, but he may not be ready for that step. Keep on growing and getting to know each other, and have fun now. The future will be here before you know it, so what the hurry??

Paschals · Jun 4, 2007, 02:03 PM

Engagement or no engagement, your right man remains your right man. If he's not your right man, no amount of engagement can bring you people together. So, pray to God to give you the wisdom and understanding to know if he is really your right one. I wish you the best as you plan to build a happy future for yourself.

bekah876 · Jun 4, 2007, 05:09 PM

I agree with Paschals... the right man is the right man no matter what. It won't matter if you are engaged or not, if he truly loves you and you truly love him things will work out in their own time. Don't rush anything let things happen naturally. From personally experience my engagement was the hardest time of our relationship. When you are engaged you know that you will be together and you want to be together right then and not wait. (that is if you are not living together at the time). It was hard to know I had the man I would be with for the rest of my life but not be able to sleep next to him at night and wake up to him every morning. It was stressful, so don't push anything. You will have the man of your dreams, and if this is the guy nothing will be able to tear you apart. A ring won't be what keeps you together, it is just a piece of metal. Best of luck!

victoria_mitchell · Jun 4, 2007, 07:16 PM

The point really isn't that I think we're going to break up the point is clearly stated:::::

Am I being "fair/reasonable" to WANT him to purpose to me soon and do you think I'm too young to be engaged??

It doesn't say "Do you think that if I get engaged my relationship will last"

NowWhat · Jun 4, 2007, 07:36 PM

Like I said, I don't think you are to young to be engaged. If you know what you want - you should go after it. Are you unreasonable to WANT to be engaged. No. If you love him and want to spend your life with him - of course you want to go to the next level.
What could be unfair or unreasonable is to demand a ring. Something like this needs to happen naturally. It would be unwise to force the issue. When HE is ready - he will give you a ring.
Good Luck and try not to worry. Enjoy this stage in your life - be happy that you have found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and enjoy each other.

victoria_mitchell · Jun 4, 2007, 08:24 PM

Thanks "NowWhat" I really think you're right. Right now I need to focus on how lucky I am to have even found this incredible person; and besides I've thought about it and in the long run if I did tell him I wanted to be engaged and then he said "Okay" and got me the ring it would be incredibly un-romantic and I would regret that I didn't get a formal purposal later on in life.

THANKS

glavine · Jun 4, 2007, 08:29 PM

19, And Ready For What! Lol, He Could Be The One, Its Possible, Now Back To Reality, Here Is The Problem, Your Scared He May Leave You, Find Someone New, Why? Are You Not Good Enough ? Of Course You Are, If You Think You Are. And Not Just You, Him To. Its All Self Esteem And You Need More Of It. Im Telling Ya Once We Know We've Got You Its A lot Easier To Let Go, It's the Challenge That Keeps Us Coming Back.
I Dated A Girl From 15 Till I Was 21 And Married Her, Only To Last 5years,
I Don't Know How Many Times I Was Scared Shed Find Someone Else. Always Worried She Was Going To Fall Out Of Love With Me. And One Day That Happened, I Forgot To Do The Little Things That Matter Most.
You Want To Keep Him, Its Simple, And That's What Makes It Hard, Its So Simple... just Do The Little Things. The Best Thing You Can Give Him Is Your Time. Don't Get Into The Motions Of Being In Love, Grab Those Feelings And Hold On To Em. And Don't Take Em For Granted
Good Luck To Ya, Hope It Works For You.

Penelope216 · Jun 4, 2007, 09:24 PM

If you are truly compatible it will happen, regardless. Seek solid ground with both of your families and make certain that you both have career paths that are rewarding and realistic. Above all, I hope you can both lay on the grass, look at the stars, and think about your future. Cherish the fun parts!

kellkell · Jun 4, 2007, 09:38 PM

No you are not physically too young to get engaged. But YOU are the only person who can awnser whether you are or aren't emotionally too young to get engaged.

victoria_mitchell, I just feel like if we don't get engaged soon we could fall apart due to our conflicting/busy scheduals at work. I'm not in a rush and neither is he All I am wondering is::::::: Am I being "fair/reasonable" to WANT him to purpose to me soon and do you think I'm too young to be engaged??

Side note: If you mention something like that in your post people will comment on it in the hope of giving you a well rounded answer.