Sounds like he has some issues with adult responsibility. Are you having money troubles? Maybe he feels overwhelmed and doesn't get that he isn't a teenager any more and has to face his problems rather than run away from them.
Since he is not responding to his mother or you, is there anyone in his life, a good friend, that he has respect for and will listen to? Think hard on this. Someone he works with or a teacher/clergyman from his past, or a father figure? Please call that person and explain what is going on. They might intercede on your behalf and have a talk with him about what he is doing, how damaging this is to your marriage, your life and your children.
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