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    NORMALME's Avatar
    NORMALME Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 3, 2010, 05:17 AM
    What can I do to have a better relationship with other women?
    Every time I try to socialize with other women they are mean and for lack of a better word "catty". They all think I am some kind of threat, which is ridiculous. I am a very nice person. I talk about things they want to talk about, I am thoughtfull. I even go out of my way to bring flowers to other moms on mothers day, birthdays, anniversaries etc. But they all get defensive whenever I say hi to their husbands. My husband and I go to picnics and parties with friends and coworkers and the women get upset if I even say hi to their husbands. I get confronted on a regular basis by wives who think I am after their husbands, and yet their husbands flirt and joke with all the other wives far more than they do with me. I usually end up sitting by myself trying not to offend anybody by talking to their spouse. It has gotten so uncomfortable that I don't even want to go anywhere. What can I do to make them more comfortable. They don't even try to get to know me!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Sep 3, 2010, 07:29 AM

    I don't know the crowd your in, but you will find many insecure females around, who do play games. That's a given, but in time, and as you get to know these females personally, and get the lay of the land so to speak, you will find like in most groups there are cliques, and factions to be dealt with. Be a bit patient, and use this time to be observant of everyone, as once you know their individual stories, and they know yours, the ice will melt, and maybe you will get closer to one or more of the cooler ones. You just have to figure out who is cool, and who is not.

    Don't worry about the insecure NOG heads though, because there are always a few of those around. Maybe you, and your husband can address the issue of mingling, and mixing together, to make you feel more comfortable, and less alone.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #3

    Sep 3, 2010, 01:03 PM
    I agree with talaniman, make sure you have your husband when you mingle until these insecure women understand that you have your own man and are not interested in taking theirs. Sometimes I wonder about us woman! We wonder why our backside just keep getting bigger and bigger for no apparent reason. Its because we forget to get up off it and do something productive or kind for others, instead of we sit on that particular part of our anatomy and do nothing but gossip. Hopefully they will open their eyes and remember how it is to be in a situation were your no included, or just go up to them had have a little conversation about being an adult woman!!

    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #4

    Sep 3, 2010, 01:21 PM

    If they don't want to be friends, don't be friends. It's their loss.
    Most women wouldn't be intimidated by another woman.

    It's the insecure women who have cheating husbands or husbands who act like they are stud muffins.

    Just be yourself and don't let them see you are hurt. You can also tell them to go jump off a cliff.
    Just saying. Kidding
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 3, 2010, 01:58 PM
    I like you, and I like your attitude. You are a nice person, and you owe excuses to no one.

    I learned long ago that insecure women (I am a woman, despite my name, Jake- which is my dog), are going to be insecure, and waste a lot of energy, thinking that you are a threat to their men. They don't have fun at parties, they don't accept that some women are prettier, smarter, more sociable, and enjoyable than themselves.

    I was in the same boat for many, many years. Always on the outside looking in, because I didn't fit, and was somehow (never did figure out) why I was seen as threatening. I went to baby showers, hosted baby showers, went to wedding showers, the whole nine yards, but still the cold shoulder, and disrespectful attitude if I happened to talk to one of their men.

    I actuallly preferred the company of their men, because many of these women were so stuffed with themselves, conversations were utterly meaningless. At least men could discuss the days headlines, and that was more than I ever got with a bunch of catty women.

    My advice to you is to not change yourself. Wear what you want to, converse with who you want to, shine when you can, and enjoy the company of everybody that suits you.

    Life is short of be on the short end of the stick when it comes to the pecking order of certain types of wives and women who see you as some sort of problem.

    I absolutely love the company of women who are sure of themselves, and don't give a rat's behind about what anybody thinks. If you waste too much time wondering about why they are catty, and why they do the things they do, yourself confidence will take a nosedive.

    You can talk to my husband anytime. I'll even buy you a drink, and say, "you go girl" when you are arguing politics, and I'd enjoy the exchange.

    Don't put yourself down. There are plenty of women like me out there that are not catty. I have many that are friends, and wouldn't have it any other way.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #6

    Sep 3, 2010, 02:01 PM

    Have to spread the rep Jake, as usual you said just right.
    NORMALME's Avatar
    NORMALME Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Sep 28, 2010, 05:54 AM
    Thanks to all of you. It is good to know there are women out there who don't act like this. Hopefully I will meet some soon. :)

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