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lonely_soul · Sep 10, 2007, 08:45 AM

Thank you all, when ever I try to forget what I have done, and I succeed in forgetting, I open this site to remember, it's tearing my heart apart, I will take your advice, and tell my husband as soon as he comes back, and may God help my lost soul, pray for me all that he forgives me, although I doutbt it, saraispie when I was judging people I wan't being hypocrite, I was being honest, but in a cruel way, I never planned to do such a mistake, and if I'm taking the advice of telling my husband its surly not because you confessed me with your cruel way, but because I knew it was the right thing to do but I was denying it out of the fear to lose my husband, next time if you want to advice people do it in a nice way, you might cause more harm and damage, the rest of you who advised me thank you all I appreciate it. Now I have to face my destiny, pray for me all...

stalyx_808 · Sep 10, 2007, 09:14 AM

Telling your husband only relieves your own guilt but will remain in his mind for all time. If I were you, you should try to be less selfish, and think about your husbands situation too--- make the most of your time together, create a warm, loving and welcoming home for him.. and forget about that mistake.

The best way to get rid of guilt is by doing good.. it might help you to start as soon as possible.

lonely_soul · Sep 10, 2007, 10:11 AM

Stalyx what to do, I am confused, I just want to do what is right, if you were my husband, would you prefer not to know the truth? I am really confused I don't know what is the wise thing to do

talaniman · Sep 10, 2007, 10:32 AM

The right way to go is tell the truth, and be willing to accept the consequences of your actions. Not easy as it may change your life. Living alone with the lie would be the easy way out, but if it ever comes to light it will be even more devastaing, to you and your husband. Either way you will pay in some form or fashion, at a time not of your choosing. Just my opinion though, a life built around lies, is not a life.

pawsdogdaycare · Sep 10, 2007, 01:16 PM

Ah don't worry about it, he's probably knocking down some hot foreign chic on his business trip..

pawsdogdaycare · Sep 10, 2007, 02:06 PM

And we are supposed to just coddle people... This is a forum where we speak our minds, what I said is more than likely true... and just because I had the sack to say it doesn't mean that you should bad rep me... This society is just to PC (politically correct)... The only reason that she has never found out is that when her hubby decided to get some strange, he made a choice to make his peace with God and not with her.. i.e... keep it a secret.. all she can do by telling her spouse is make him angry and further wreck an already severely disfunctional marriage... I kicked in the back door on a lot of married women when I was a young Marine... and know that probably 60% if not higher men cheat, it's just part of their nature... Be it they won't admit it they do, old girlfriends, secretaries, a fat chic... something but it's happening...

phillysteakandcheese · Sep 10, 2007, 03:20 PM

I don't expect many of you to agree with me, but I think there's something to be said for her to simply accept she made a mistake and bury it forever, having learned the lesson.

We barely know anything about this person, her husband, or their life... All the advice we are giving is coming from our own perspectives. So, I think...

IF this was a one time mistake - and not a pattern...
IF this is something she can keep to herself and resolve within herself...
IF she honestly is committed to her marriage
IF she truly realizes the mistake she's made...

She might well be better off acknowledging what she did, forgiving herself, and working to make sure her life with her husband is the best it can be. If she knows she can spare her husband the pain of her bad choice, I think she should - despite the risks that have been noted.

Some of you have been out for blood - seemingly wanting her to "pay for what she's done".
I also think projecting your pain on to her as "the cheater" is wrong.

Granted - This might also be the big flashing neon sign that the marriage was doomed and going down the toilet anyway, since the women obviously felt, at some level, at that moment, it was "okay" to cheat.

MayMsredrose · Sep 11, 2007, 12:57 AM

I do agree with philly steak... nobody is perfect... I do not take your side either... what you have done is a mistake but on the other hand if you regret it and you won't repeat it again... then keep it for yourself do not share it with anyone you know... you have shared enough with us... and forget about it... closed chapter... and start new life... I do not think your husband is an angle either maybe he is having fun at his business trip... so do not be so harsh on yourself...

In order to forget about what you did... stop thinking, sharing, asking about what you have done...

Forget any & everything you have done... stop talking , thinking about it so that you can start again.

GOOD LUCK... and be a good girl ; ) just joking I know you are otherwise you won't feel guilty and blame yourself that much...

Ms. Redrose

rohittem · Sep 11, 2007, 02:34 AM

Originally Posted by lonely_soul

macksmom, why r u making it hard to me, i wish nothing like that happened, and i feel so guilty, please don't force me to think of killing my self, i am dying slowly already...God forgives, why can't people forgive? what do u want me to do now? u r saying something wrong will happen and he will know, what if he didn't? put ur self in my place, and feel my pain. i was stupid enough to do what i have done, and i have to live with it the rest of my life, i just want another chance and i promise i will never do it again. Please do understand my setuation......

You wrote here that why can't people forgive. May I ask you one question? Why people like you are doing wrong things in relationships first? Think... if your husband deceived you like you did, would you showed forgiveness? If you really feeling bad tell the truth to him and face the consequences.

pawsdogdaycare · Sep 11, 2007, 04:12 AM

Ah don't worry about it, he's probably knocking down some hot foreign chic on his business trip..

Comments on this post
saraispiel19 disagrees: oh wow-- she didn't deserve thαt.. I'm pretty sure 80% of the people thαt reαd this thought the sαme but you don't hαve to sαy it
Clough disagrees: Unkind and insensible. How would you feel if you were in the poster's shoes?

Easy, I wouldn't be out on the internet looking to strangers to heal my soul. If she is so torn up about this then that is something that she should have thought about prior to letting an X boyfriend break her back while her hubby was away on business.. Also if she is unhappy enough in her marriage to shop outside the marriage when given the chance then more then likely that runs both ways.. In either instance she needs to just shut her mouth and her legs and move on with her life.. All she can do is cause more damage by trying to relieve her guilt by confessing to her hubby... So things are just better left unsaid,

talaniman · Sep 11, 2007, 05:02 AM

Originally Posted by pawsdogdaycare

Ah don't worry about it, he's probably knocking down some hot foreign chic on his business trip..

While your point is well taken, why didn't you just ask the question before you assumed her husband was cheating??

lonely_soul · Sep 11, 2007, 09:41 AM

Again I thank all of those who tried to help me, I feel peace now, I talked with my husband while ago and felt that I love him more than ever, I will not tell him, and I will not talk about this subject again, I believe in having second chance, and I am willing to take care of my husband for the rest of my life. It was the first time I cheat on him, and I am not going to let this mistake ruin my life, life goes on...
Take care all and thank you for your time and effort.
Special thanks to phillysteakandchees, and pawsdogdaycare you really helped me a lot guys, but I don't think my husband is cheating on me.

lonely_soul · Sep 11, 2007, 09:53 AM

Maymsredrose you are an angel, thank you dear, your answer was helpful... God bless you.

MayMsredrose · Sep 13, 2007, 02:59 AM

Do not mention it... I did nothing... Wish you the best of luck in your life...

Originally Posted by lonely_soul

Maymsredrose you are an angel, thank you dear, ur answer was helpful....God bless you.

bushg · Sep 13, 2007, 09:24 AM

Keep it to yourself or tell him either way it's your choice. My question is what if the boyfriend of 4 years ago jumps in the sack with everyone he meets and has an Sexually transmitted disease, then isn't it awfully unfair of you to subject your husband to that possibility. If it were me I would want to know that my hubby cheated so that I could protect myself from diseases.

jagonnath · Sep 14, 2007, 12:46 AM

Mam,
Promise yourself that u will never do like this and try to forgive yourself ,then don't nedd to ask any forgiveness.

pawsdogdaycare · Sep 14, 2007, 04:19 AM

All I have to say is for those to POLITICALLY CORRECT INDIVIDUALS in here, that did not have the intestenal fortitude to actually speak their mind, notice that I PAWSDOGDAYCARE got mentioned as actually helping the thread originator.. and to think I got 8 negative ratings for advice that was actually quite useful to the woman..

macksmom · Sep 14, 2007, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by pawsdogdaycare

All I have to say is for those to POLITICALLY CORRECT INDIVIDUALS in here, that did not have the intestenal fortitude to actually speak their mind, notice that I PAWSDOGDAYCARE got mentioned as actually helping the thread originator.. and to think I got 8 negative ratings for advice that was actually quite useful to the woman..

The OP was searching for someone in the mist who would actually agree to what she had already decided to do before she posted... lie to her husband.

So pat yourself right on the back there, if it boosts your ego.

Don't worry, I'm sure the OP will actually mention you again, but this time it will most likely be when she is going through a divorce. ;)

pawsdogdaycare · Sep 14, 2007, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by macksmom

The OP was searching for someone in the mist who would actually agree to what she had already decided to do before she posted.....lie to her husband.

So go ahead and pat yourself right on the back there, if it boosts your ego.

Don't worry, I'm sure the OP will actually mention you again, but this time it will most likely be when she is going through a divorce. ;)

Thanks I will... Begone, scurry away now... back to the soccer field, and all the other moms...

macksmom · Sep 17, 2007, 05:47 PM

"lonely_soul disagrees: Don't worry i will not get through a divorce, i will have a great life with my husband, i wll live a great life, because i need a second chance, and to all those who said i might have an STD, WELL I'M NOT"

Well I guess you will just have to see, and hope your husband doesn't find out about the TRUE you. And next time get your facts straight... I never said anything about you having an STD... but just so you know, the risk is higher for people that have more than one partner.