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    tayaa24's Avatar
    tayaa24 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 19, 2007, 04:20 PM
    Two Couples being married and attracted to each other
    What do you do when your married and attracted to a married person that is attracted to you, however that person is very brave and makes moves and others see it.
    LBP's Avatar
    LBP Posts: 206, Reputation: 42
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    #2

    Feb 19, 2007, 04:28 PM
    Get involved in a really effed up situaton that explodes in everyone's face?

    Or avoid it entirely.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #3

    Feb 19, 2007, 04:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tayaa24
    What do you do when your married and attracted to a married person that is attracted to you, however that person is very brave and makes moves and others see it.
    You realize that the other person is not brave as you decscribe but incredibly stupid and untrustworthy.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
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    #4

    Feb 19, 2007, 04:42 PM
    You stay away from that person and work on your relationship with your husband.

    Surely that is pretty clear. Did you really need to be told that or did you hope to hear someone advise you to take a chance with your married friend and see what it leads to?

    If you did then don't expect to hear that from anyone hear.
    We are into helping relationships, not breaking marriages.

    Please be faithful to your husband and stay away from this person. The grass isn't as green as you think over there!
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #5

    Feb 19, 2007, 04:56 PM
    The other married person who is making the moves would not make the moves if not encouraged or not told to knock it off!

    Which is more important to you? Your marriage or this flirtation?
    tayaa24's Avatar
    tayaa24 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Feb 19, 2007, 05:05 PM
    I am a very friendly person, however I have not made any moves and are hardly rude to anyone, I know of this attraction with this fellow however I love my husband and would never make a move, I feel it is okay to have an attraction for someone as long as I don't act on it, that is human nature. I would never allow it to go that far.
    Nosnosna's Avatar
    Nosnosna Posts: 434, Reputation: 103
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    #7

    Feb 19, 2007, 05:08 PM
    Having and recognizing an attraction are OK, yes. But it sounds like the other person here is acting on that attraction. Remember that not saying no is often taken to mean the same thing as saying yes.

    You need to confront this other person and tell them that what they're doing is inappropriate. If you don't, and these moves keep being seen, then people will start to talk, and talk will get back around to your husband, and that's a rough place to end up just because having an attraction is OK.

    Edit to add: The above is if this other person is a coworker or someone else you have to be around. If it's somebody you don't have to be around, don't confront them, just change your routine to avoid them.
    LBP's Avatar
    LBP Posts: 206, Reputation: 42
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    #8

    Feb 19, 2007, 05:11 PM
    And you wouldn't be here asking about all this if you didn't at least consider acting on your attraction...
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
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    #9

    Feb 19, 2007, 05:43 PM
    I hear the debate in your own mind about needing to do the right thing but digging the hot attention too... once that's settled this gets a lot easier. Only you can settle it too.

    A polite way to dampen it is to say wherever he does it next, "Look, I'm flattered at the attention but this girl only plays on the home field. I need you to dial this back to a very mildly flirting level. If you aren't sure what that is, think of me as your sister!" :eek: LOL

    It will be especially effective if your statement is as public as the passes he makes.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,234, Reputation: 10853
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    #10

    Feb 19, 2007, 05:53 PM
    Nip it in the bud before it gets worse, tell (don't ask) him to back off and show respect, or get lost.
    toronto guy's Avatar
    toronto guy Posts: 19, Reputation: 3
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    #11

    Feb 19, 2007, 06:19 PM
    My opinion after being cheated on. Do not get involved. I agree tell him to stop and if that does not work break off all contact. Just imagine how your spouse and his spouse would feel if something did happen. I don't think anyone wins in that situation. Last, would you really want to be involved with someone who would cheat on his wife and possibly do it to you if you got together in the future.
    MP49D's Avatar
    MP49D Posts: 30, Reputation: 3
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    #12

    Feb 20, 2007, 08:36 AM
    If you are asking it's because you are interested in him. It's okay if you know what your getting yourself into. Just remember not only could you get hurt but so can your innocent family. This temptation to have some "innocent" flirtation can get you and your family in lots of emotional pain. So it's okay to play if you know to be responsible for your own actions and accept the results of your actions. Try to put yourself in your husbands shoes, how would you feel? If you think your flirtation is worth risking your marriage then go ahead but I would suggest being honest to yourself as to why are you so interested in this man that you would ask other people what to do?
    AKaeTrue's Avatar
    AKaeTrue Posts: 1,599, Reputation: 272
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    #13

    Feb 20, 2007, 08:54 AM
    I would stay clear of the married man and try to rekindle the marriage with my husband before I did anything drastic... But that's me...
    E3317's Avatar
    E3317 Posts: 103, Reputation: -5
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    #14

    May 20, 2007, 09:14 AM
    Unless you are a cold blooded, no conscious, baving sex addict leave it alone. The restless nights, STI' scares, and worring if the person will use this against you at some point is just too much for a few minutes of extacy. Actually it may suck the risk out weigh the possible rewards

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