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    md nafis marzin's Avatar
    md nafis marzin Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 30, 2008, 07:42 PM
    Is there any way to get my wife feel for me
    My wife and I had an affair marriage in bangladesh which our family does not know and all of a sudden when I came to uk for studies she started losing interest what should I do now am praying to allah for our good future for a month but am having no hope . Because of this girl I was away from all kinds of sins which includes drinking and taking drugs , after she came to my life I really wanted to be good and religious to but after being religious every thing started going wrong . Please give me advice of what to do and what kind of doa I should say to have a change in our relation or which will make me strong so that I do not feel the pain of ending this relation .she wants to give me a divorce and it really broke me down . Sir I really need your help to save this marriage.because according to me I do not see any wrong in our relationship then why is allah giving me such a big sin
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member

    Aug 30, 2008, 08:28 PM
    Firmbeliever can most likely give you a better answer but I would say that you need to work on YOU and not look to your wife for your hopes or your religion. God (Allah) wants you to have a belief in him not because of how your life is going.
    Your wife has a free will so it is not easy to make her stay with you but do your best and trust Allah to do what is best in your life. We often think something is best for us but often when we get further down the road and things worked out different we can see that what we felt we needed so bad may not have been best for us. So learn to trust Allah regardless of how your life is going.
    md nafis marzin's Avatar
    md nafis marzin Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 30, 2008, 08:38 PM
    Then why did allah put me in a marrige first of all doesn't allah say that he will always give a fruit for a persons hard work so where did I go wrong I did every thin that was needed to keep a relation during the times of hard ship we were always strong and solved it together for example when our parents came to know about our relation we were caught four times and four times we were strong and were to when every thing is suppose to go good she all of a sudden lost intarest without any reason
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member

    Aug 30, 2008, 08:43 PM
    Are you sure Allah 'PUT' you in the relationship?
    I really have no idea what would have turned her from wanting to be married to you.
    Maybe the distance of her being in Bangladesh and you in the UK?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855

    Aug 30, 2008, 09:02 PM
    What do you mean, lost interest? Is she busy? Working? How old are you both? How long have you been in this marriage, and how long did you know each other before? Be more specific please.
    secretgyrl16's Avatar
    secretgyrl16 Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Sep 4, 2008, 08:04 AM
    I don't know if you are Muslim, but if you are, it is wrong for you to blame or ask Allah why this happening to you. Everything happens for a reason. Since you had an affair marriage, things will not be the same for a while. It hurts to be in a situation like that trust me I know. I went through it in my marriage. You can not make someone be religious because they should WANT to be. Maybe Allah is testing you to see how much you really love her. How much you're willing to take to show that you love her. I used to blame and ask Allah why certain things were happening to me but when you really understand the religion, you realize things happen for a reason. Now for her to ask for a divorce and put you through those things is not right. Try to talk and sow her that you really care and ask Allah for guidance. I am not staying this is going to happen over night, this is going to take time. Maybe weeks, months, and even years. If you really love her, you would have patience and try to make things work out. She also has to make thing work as well. You have to talk things out and see where you stand with her. Also remember, when you think if Allah during good times, he will think of you during your times of hardship. Inshallah things work out for you.

    May I ask was this a arrange marriage?
    sensi2005's Avatar
    sensi2005 Posts: 4, Reputation: -5
    New Member

    Sep 4, 2008, 08:32 AM
    Everything happens for a reason: REALLY?
    Where does it say that?
    Sometimes things happen, blah blah blah.
    Did you say that you and your wife both had an affair?
    If so, did you both have fun? I hope so and if you did, think about that and how wonderful it felt to have great sex. Alleluia!
    What's wrong with that?
    No one, puts you in any situation, not Allah, Jesus, God or what ever you believe in.
    You are responsible for your actions and no one else. The sooner you realize that, the quicker you'll recover from it.
    Accept it and move forward since it is the only thing you can do darling.

    Love sucks and love hurts but it is the best thing in life that we have as well. LOVE!
    We as human beings must learn to let go of our fear that we have done wronged or that we have sinned.
    I learned a long time ago that God is all good, keep it in your heart, cherish, love it and live.
    Live your life without limitations, have fun. It's your life, not your families, friends or colleagues. Forget the old patterns that have and was instilled in our brains that sex is wrong.
    If two consensual adults agree and the opportunity arises, go for it and let the chips fall where they may.

    You don't want to loose your wife?
    You don't have to, if she loved you prior to this little fling, she will love you again. Love does not die, people do.
    The best way to solve this situation, in my opinion is to leave the house, since she wants to give you the divorce, say; "OK, where are you going to live?"
    While you are it, ask her if she could move by the end of the week and stick to it.

    We are silly humans, we want what we can't have but as soon as you give in to her or his wishes, miracles began to happen.
    Never show your pain, keep it inside. Pretend, pretend ,pretend even if it's killing you, keep on pretending that you are just fantastic and everything is peachie's. Ha ha!
    Trust me, she'll turn around very quickly once you say, OK. It works all the time just don't ask how it works it just does.

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