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maliceluvsyou · Jun 16, 2008, 03:10 PM

She just left my brother last week and took everything he had bought with his own money. They were married for like a year and half, have one child before they married. She is 4 years old and they were off and on before they got married. The reason he didn't try to stop her from taking everything he owned was because he just went to jail and will be out the end of next month. My brother isn't a bad man, he just made mistakes when he was in his late teens and he is in his early twenties now. He just went to jail in may for a parole violation (he didn't report like he was suppose to), my question is can he get custody of his child and still get his things back. Also she is an unfit mother because she is an alcoholic, does drugs, forces he daughter to eat big quantities of food so she don't have to constantly feed her, keeps her child out with her all night long, neglects her, and is verbally abusive to her. She is also an unfaithful wife. I know we can't do anything since my brother is in jail, but I don't want my niece with her. I know she is her mother but she is mean to her and I don't want her to be treated that way.

IM4U · Jun 16, 2008, 04:35 PM

maliceluvsyou,

Sounds very complicated. The comments I am hearing on this forum about sticky legal family situations suggest that a lawyer be involved. I am a proponent of mediation prior to resorting to a court fight. Even in mediation, or at least prior to the finalizing and signing of an agreement, there may be the need for a lawyer. Expensive, usually, yes, but in responding to a comment about the pricing of motorcycle helmets, someone asked, "How much is your head worth?"

What can or cannot happen may or may not happen in a given court on a given day with a given judge and given lawyers.

May I please encourage civility and procedures based on the best interest of the child or children.

Best wishes for all involved, especially the children.

Disclaimer: These comments are not provided for, nor are they intended for use as, professional legal advice. This information should be considered merely the opinions or observances of the writer.

Considering that some of "those around you" are children..

Fr_Chuck · Jun 16, 2008, 04:40 PM

First when he gets out of jail, he needs an attorney, he needs to file for divorce, and ask for correct division of property. If he is on th birth certificate he needs to file for custody, if he is not on the birth certificate, he will need to ask for DNA test then custody.
He will need proof of all the bad things she does and a 4 year old can not really testify in court, the judge may question her or my not.
His being in jail is not going to help his side.

N0help4u · Jun 17, 2008, 06:43 AM

Yeah his being in jail will not help his case so as soon as he gets out he needs to work on
Establishing a stable, settled environment -- financial security and a place to live, preferably in his name. It won't be that easy but it won't be impossible, especially since she can possibly be proven an unfit mother.

JBeaucaire · Jun 17, 2008, 07:07 AM

A person who made a mistake and paid for it is NOT the same thing as someone who is MAKING mistakes and endangering a child.

Batton down the hatches and try to protect this girl. Your list of things she does is useless without accompanying proof. Your word isn't enough, but the believable word of 3 people may be.

You brother needs help now. Start gathering the info, track what the woman is doing. Arrange through all your friends and family to get this man a job and have it waiting for him when he gets out. Make sure the prospective employers know what his sins were and why he needs help now to protect his daughter, people can surprise you in that regard.

It's time for action. You will need a lawyer, so start making calls now until you find one you can afford that is still a dedicated worker... some inexpensive lawyers are lazy, but not all.