[I_One]

My oldest son refuses to do very little for me. Yet, he has bypassed being a father, which he has not accomplished yet. Instead, he has moved in with an older woman with grown children who is nearly my age. He acts as though he is a grandfather these days. His girl friend has said to him that she does not love him. Now she has moved her uncle in to live with my son and her. It gets worst. One of her grown children (jobless), has moved in with them and brought his girl friend there and their new baby. The girl friend's mother pops in offering her "two cents" regularly although she lives in the State of Mississippi. I just have never heard of such goings on in my life.

I am a widowed, disabled mother with uncontrolled high blood pressure, arthritis and asthma. My two girls have bad asthma. My other son who lives here and has just gotten his master's degree, wants to do little or nothing to help me.

When my husband, their father, was alive, he worked.

Please tell me why my sons act this way? The oldest son's birthdate is July 4, 1970. The other son is August 8, 1978. My birthdate is June 10, 1947.

Thank you for your help.

[Mylena36]

It is sad you see that grown children take advantage of you.

The abuse they have toward you has nothing to do with their birthdates. They are that way because they abuse your kindness and use it to their advantage.

You must inact Tough Love and make them be more responsible for themselves. You take care of you and tell them when they decide to grow up, you will be their with open arms.

Mylena36

[schuylervj]

Your sons are ungrateful, and unfortunately, many men/boys are that way. There is a saying: "A son is a son until he gets a wife; your daughter's your daughter the rest of your life." Men are not nurturers, period, and they are terribly neglectful of you and they are aware of it and consequently, very defensive, which is what makes them be cruel. As bad as the one son's situation is, it is his life, and he is the one who will have to deal with it eventually... your sons are both losers for treating you so badly, and the one who just received his Master's degree is living proof that degrees are meaningless without a heart to go with it. There are many kind people who would love to get to know you and be your friend, and you need to be with people, whether it's at Church or doing volunteer work or having a hobby; anything that gets you out of the house. Don't be alone, be with people and find new things to enjoy...