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    bruceandtara96's Avatar
    bruceandtara96 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:47 AM
    What to do when he says he is not sexually atracted to you anymore?
    Bruce and I hve been married for 13 long years now. We don't sleep together we don't really even talk but now he says he isn't attracted to me and we haven't made love in over 8 years. He says he loves me and wants me to stay but I don't know what to do anymore I really need help.
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #2

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:56 AM

    Try to spice it up. Maybe it's just more boredom than I'm not attracted to you. Maybe try roleplaying or sex games.

    If it gets really serious to the point you don't think any of this is working... Maybe go see a therapist and tell him you want to improve your sex life. Guys seem to like sex.

    Marriage or Sex Therapist (licensed and strictly professional) are used to these problems and could probably help you solve them.
    Kratos1963's Avatar
    Kratos1963 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Dec 11, 2008, 11:04 AM
    He may have ED and is ashamed to tell you about it. If that's the case, he needs to see a dotor. What have you done to arouse him? Have you offered him Oral sex? Don't ask him for sex. Get him erect and rape him. I know I love it when my GF does it to me.

    Have you considered counseling?
    southerngalps's Avatar
    southerngalps Posts: 1,334, Reputation: 112
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    #4

    Dec 11, 2008, 11:45 AM

    You haven't had sex in over 8 years? That means that he stopped having sex with you after 5 years of marriage?

    Wow... that is too soon to loose sexual interest.

    As kratos1963 said, maybe there is something medically wrong with him.
    Shannon82's Avatar
    Shannon82 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 11, 2008, 12:53 PM

    I really don't think men know how bad that hurts a woman. 1963 might be right it could be ED and he is ashamed! Who knows! 8 years is a long time... good luck
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
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    #6

    Dec 12, 2008, 07:49 AM

    Whether it is physical or something else does not really matter that much to me. You need to confront him and find out why he is not physically attracted to you any longer. If he is unwilling to dig to the bottom of this issue then I really don't see a lot of solutions except maybe to tell him to get out.
    Kratos1963's Avatar
    Kratos1963 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Dec 15, 2008, 10:19 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by 450donn View Post
    Whether it is physical or something else does not really matter that much to me. You need to confront him and find out why he is not physically attracted to you any longer. If he is unwilling to dig to the bottom of this issue then I really don't see a lot of solutions except maybe to tell him to get out.
    Throw away 13 years? That's a little extreme isn't it? There are lots of solutions. Getting advice on the internet being the least important.
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
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    #8

    Dec 15, 2008, 04:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kratos1963 View Post
    Throw away 13 years? That's a little extreme isn't it? There are lots of solutions. Getting advice on the internet being the least important.

    Yes, 13 years is a long time. 8 without the intimacy of the marriage bed is also a really long time. IF he is unwilling to face up and work through what is bothering him, I don't really see a lot of alternatives, do you?
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
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    #9

    Dec 17, 2008, 11:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kratos1963 View Post
    Professional counseling.
    Counseling would help if both not only participate but are willing to see this through.

    By the looks of this relationship, that might not be a possibility,but who knows,we aren't there.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Dec 24, 2008, 07:45 PM

    How do you let that go for 8 years?
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