[mishiree]

I have been married for 16 months but I don't trust my husband. I am 8 months pregnant and need to know before its too late for my baby if he is going to cheat and if we will last

[tooyoung]

Hey there's not a lot of imfo. Here

Like why do you think he's cheating and has he done it before?

One question you need to ask yourself is do you want to end your marriage?

My hubby cheated on me 6 years ago. I left him for 3 years. I still loved him and really missed him. We talked a lot about what went wrong and why he did it. We have been back together for 3 years. It is hard to trust someone after they hurt you but if you really love this guy its worth trying.

It is not an easy decision to make so make sure you weigh all the pros and cons and get the whole story before you make it.

[PrettyLady]

Mishiree, trust is the most important ingredient in building an intimate relationship between a husband and wife. If there's no trust and communication in your marriage, it's not going to last. I suggest you and your husband seek marriage counseling.

[Fr_Chuck]

i have been married for 16 months but i don't trust my husband. i am 8 months pregnant and need to know before its too late for my baby if he is going to cheat and if we will last

Well let me see, you would be surprised at the amount of women that think their husbands are cheating while pregnant, it has a lot to do with the hormone imbalance and the way you also see your body right now.

But of course some men for some stupid reason do leave before the baby is born if they don't want to be a father and they feel trapped.

It can be a combination of all of those feelings.

Why do you feel he is cheating, motel stubs in his pocket, he is calling you the wrong girls name in bed, does he smell like cheap sex when he gets home?

Or is it he is just distant right now, not being as loving and understanding. Perhaps he is scared about being a father and perhaps this has changed so many of his plans.

Most of the time this changes once the baby is born and he holds it for the first time.

You need to talk and discuss your feelings in a good way if you have a real reason to be unsure.

And I have no idea what you mean by "too late fo the baby" the baby is coming if he is cheating or not and he will be the babies dad no matter anyway.

I would say that a good talk and being honest may help awhole lot and if not professionaling counseling can help also.

But I will add from years of talking with couples, a large number of women in their last months before the baby have similar feelings if they are just feelings not based on any real facts

[mishiree]

I don't think he's cheating on me right now but I have a feeling he will. The first thing that made me think this was when we first got a computer. He had an old email address that he said he never used and one day I seen he'd been using it so I changed his password and seen why he'd been using it. Well he had been emailing an "old friend" about how he was unhappy and didn't know if he loved me. He never came to me and said he was unhappy or anything. It really made me mad. Then one day we were out and a girl with a lowcut top on walks by and he stares and smiles right in front of me. Then one night I fell asleep on the couch, he thought it was abig deal and woke me up and told me to go to bed, well after being in bed for a while I woke up startled with a strange feeling and came out to find him looking at porn on his computer. I am a Christian and my beliefs are that that is cheating. I am paranoid and its possible my horomones are helping me feel this way, however he comes home from work at lunch and is on his computer until he leaves and comes home from work at the end of the day and is on it until I beg him to come to bed usually between 2 and 3 am. It kills me because I know he doesn't love me like I love him and if it was just me I would stay with him and deal with it. But I have learned that if our relationship isn't good staying with him is NOT best for my daughter. I think we need counseling but he says I'm crazy. He may be going to iraq soon and if he is gone a year he WILL cheat on me, he even admits there's a possibility.

[Fr_Chuck]

i don't think he's cheating on me right now but i have a feeling he will. the first thing that made me think this was when we first got a computer. he had an old email address that he said he never used and one day i seen he'd been using it so i changed his password and seen why he'd been using it. well he had been emailing an "old friend" about how he was unhappy and didn't know if he loved me. he never came to me and said he was unhappy or anything. it really made me mad. then one day we were out and a girl with a lowcut top on walks by and he stares and smiles right in front of me. then one night i fell asleep on the couch, he thought it was abig deal and woke me up and told me to go to bed, well after being in bed for a while i woke up startled with a strange feeling and came out to find him looking at porn on his computer. i am a Christian and my beliefs are that that is cheating. i am paranoid and its possible my horomones are helping me feel this way, however he comes home from work at lunch and is on his computer until he leaves and comes home from work at the end of the day and is on it until i beg him to come to bed usually between 2 and 3 am. it kills me because i know he doesn't love me like i love him and if it was just me i would stay with him and deal with it. but i have learned that if our relationship isn't good staying with him is NOT best for my daughter. i think we need counseling but he says i'm crazy. he may be going to iraq soon and if he is gone a year he WILL cheat on me, he even admits theres a possibility.

Computer porn is very adictive and is a big form of cheating, it cheats him on a realistic idea of proper sexual behvior and it cheats you of time to share together. Talk to him, go to marriage counseling, put a porn blocker on the computer that can not be unblocked.

[talaniman]

Your relationship with your husband is not good because there is not enough communication or trust to sustain a healthy relationship.The fact that he spends a lot of time on the computor instead of with you is an indication that the two of you spend a lot of time doing other things instead of engaging each other.The fact that he may go to Iraq and not come back has to weigh heavily on his mind as well so instead of harboring these gloom and doom scenarios in your mind why not try being physically with your husband and learn to communicate better with him to see how he feels about your pregnancy and what's going on in his world.Your both obviously young so be patient,as far as the porn goes putting your morals on him would be a disaster at this point.Again honest open communication will go a long way to bringing you both together on the same page.good luck!:cool:

[giggles]

"if he is gone a year he WILL cheat on me, he even admits theres a possibility"

He's not doing much to reassure you, is he?

At this time, you need support. Take fr chuck's advice and get some marriage counselling. It's like you're trying to handle too much right now, all on your own.

And I would worry about the computer use too. Even if its not "addictive" what he's doing, it's damaging your relationship when you need him most. It's antisocial behaviour. Be prepared that he might not be any happier than when you found that email he wrote, which would explain his lack of "presence" in your marriage.

Hope it works out for the best, whatever that is, and good luck with the birth of your child!

[DARK SMILE]

Hi mishiree,

Have you ever questioned yourself "wether you've saticified him to the extreme or at least to some extent". I could see you hubby is enjoying pronog**... may be because he is not getting what he is expecting with the marriage life.

[Clough]

Just so that others who might continue to post responses on this thread know, the original poster hasn't logged back onto this site since March 29, 2006 at 05:00 P.M.

[Karee_Lynn]

Ok, if you do not have trust, you do not have a relationship. I got married when I turned 18. I found out that my husband cheated on me when we first started going out. I forgave him because it was when we first started going out and we did not love each other yet. If he has cheated on you, its not right to get him back. It might feel really good to get him back, but it just makes you look bad. Be the bigger person. Also it gives him an excuse to say "well you did it to me, now lets forget what happened and move on". If you really love him and really want to be with him, it might not be the answer to stay with him if you do not trust him. If you do not trust him, then you won't be happy if you both are still together. Think about your feelings too. If you are having a baby, I know couples stay together because of the baby but, YOU HAVE FEELINGS TOO. Im not saying to just think about yourself, but if your not happy then you will argue around your children and you will also mess up their heads. Its really up to you. I have been cheated on alot(not saying I'm not good enough) but I know how it feels to not trust the next person you get with. Take chances.