[robertsqueen]

Today I was cleaning the house and I decided to clean under the couch because it hadn't been done in a while. When I scooted the couch forward there was a dvd disk sitting there, and I picked it up It was girls gone wild. Then my husbands blade trinity was there so I opened it up and found two more porn dvds. When I called him and told him I found them he told me that he was holding them for a friend, is he lieying? He has never lied to me before, but why would he keep it a secret if it was for a friend. He knows I wouldn't have gotten mad. I am so confused and should I push the issue or just leave it alone?

[talaniman]

If he didn't bother really hiding them, then he probably was just passing them among friends, or was holding them. Just because he chose not to tell you, doesn't mean he is lying, or it's a big deal. Casually asking him about it may set your mind at ease, and since it didn't make you mad, DON'T make a bigger deal out of it than its worth.

[robertsqueen]

Okay well them I did cookies on my computer and there are a bunch of porn sites that came up... what really makes me mad is this website called flingnet, and it is where you can hook up with someone close to you, he had looked up weman in South Dakota. Should I be concerned about that? I have been cheated on one too many times and I am not about to get cheated on by my husband.

[Dennis777]

Hello Robertsqueen.

Im sorry that you have been cheated on before but don't let the past guys actions hurt your relationship. Im not saying its right but many men and ladies play on the dateing sites. Many times its to see if they can find people they know and work with. At times its to add a little spice to their life. Im not saying your not a fantistic Lover but you have to admit you have looked at a man or two and wondered how he would make you feel. Its normal and to many people the sneaking it makes it even more exciting.

If he has been good to you and you trusted him before you found his secrets then trust him now. Rememeber if he was trying to hide what he was doing he would never use his own computer or leave the information on it for you to find.

You can always use this to your advantage and spice up yolur relationship with this game.

Good Luck
Dennis777

[emdramaqueen]

Sounds like he is lying... if he was holding them from a friend, why would he need to hide them from you?

[talaniman]

Talk about it, not argue, but talk and listen. You deserve to know what's up with that.

[saraispiel19]

Hmm why would it be under the couch? When I hold stuff for α friend its not under the couch.. but well mαybe it umm fell?----

I reαd in lαst posts thαt you hαd pαst threesomes--if you did with your husbαnd (not sure if you mentioned thαt) then you αlreαdy toyed with fire-- if he's wαtching porn he's most likely remenising αbout thαt dαy αnd the internet thing is definαtely α red flαg-- do you know if he hαs hooked up with αnyone?---


This is something you need to αsk him αbout.. αsαp

[ceeceesworld]

I don't believe he's holding them for a friend, he probably borrowed them. He may have been embarrassed you found his stash. My advice is to talk to him about how you feel and if it's no big deal about the porn, let him know.

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

I doubt he's holding them for a friend either - if so I think he would have told you outright, what would be the harm?

I just want to add, confronting him on the phone wasn't a great idea, not only will he have felt uneasy about talking about this subject in whatever location he was in when you called, you've also given him plenty of time to make up a better story.

I don't think any woman can keep a man from porn, you need to accept this, but definitely let him know how hurt you feel, especially about the websites he's been visiting!

As someone else pointed out though - if you don't think this is a really big thing - don't make it into one!

J

[doesSheLoveme]

Did you ever think he wants something in those video's and was scared to tell you what he wants sexually? Talk to him about the situation you guys are adults and married it's not going to be weird in anyway just ask him why he has them and believe him it's something so small just talk it out. And if he never lied to you before then why start now ?

[Lowtax4eva]

He wasn't holding them for a friend, he was too scared or embarrassed that you found them to admit they are his. I don't know any friends that "share porn" or need to hide it at another friends home. The porn itself should not worry you as much as what you found on the computer. Unfortunately all guys have some sort of porn (well OK to be fair, most guys)

I would talk to him about this fling site you found in cookies, but since he seems to be a liar my guess is he will say a friend was over and looking to meet a girl and he let him use the comp. Watching porn or even visiting a porn website are a lot different than actively looking to meet a girl on a site with the word fling in it

[saraispiel19]

OK I got it :

I had a threesome with my best friend and my boyfriend at the time...it was the biggest mistake. My boyfriend fell in love with my best friend. If you are in a commiteed relationship I would not bring another person into your bedroom. My husband has fantasyies of me with another woman and so we talk about it during love making, that is almost as good. In the end it is your decision.

Well mαybe the porn is αnother wαy he mαkes his fαntαsy come true?

[SameOldSituation]

Dude, he's whackin the tally to it. Holding for a friend HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhh.

Wow.

What friend would need you to "hold" his porn? Riiight.

Personally, I don't think porn's a big deal, but I am a guy. So, of course I don't think it's a big deal. Many many girls do, and I can understand that.

But I really think the big deal, as others have said, is the internet search for people in his area thing.

[robertsqueen]

To answer Sarah no the threesome wasn't with him. It was with my old boyfriend. I am not upset by the porn, we have porn hidden at the house. I was upset because he was lying. We have great communication. We talked and he said that as he was looking at porn that website popped up. I believe him because I tried to get his password with the only email he has and it said there was no record of him. He has been faithful our whole marriage. I think that I let my insecurrities get to me. You were right when you said that I shouldn't have called him and confronted him. I actually called him to laugh about it then I found the other stuff. I am a pretty laid back person when it comes to being open about sex. We have a very spicy sex life so I know that it isn't that he is scared to ask for something. I think that as he said"its a guy thing and its encoded into our DNA lol. I am over the whole thing now, and I know that he is not cheating on me, when does he have the time he watches our son all day and works all night and comes home to me right after work. Thank you all for your opinions, comments and suggestions luckly we had a good open talk and resolved this situation.

[robertsqueen]

Now we just laugh about it and my family who is works with calls him butterfingers lol.

[saraispiel19]

:) glαd your hαppy αgαin:)

[Kattalover]

Did you call him at work? If so, why are you surprised that he didn't reply, "Sorry, honey, I forgot to tell you about the porn DVDs under the couch?" - LOL.

But seriously, he was probably just unprepared for the question. Or maybe a coworker was nearby and overhearing the conversation. I can't imagine a man who doesn't get turned on by watching porn, but I can very well imagine a man being embarrassed by it - especially when confronted with it for the first time. Unexpectedly, as it were. And at work at that!

If I were you, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it unless you have reason to believe that his fist gets more action than you.

Just my 2 cents! :)

[cenachick]

I know I just don't know why guys have to lie about it I mean I hate porn it makes me sick to my stomack I just don't see how men can look at other nasty hos when they are with someone I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years off and on and I have 3 beautiful sons with him and why I really hate porn the number one reason is because my youngest son is 3 months old well while he was being born in the hospital my b/f was at home drunk viewing porn while I was in labor and he knew there were even going to induce my labor but still missed his own sons birth because of them home recking whore I believe that's all porn is there for is to wreak relationships I mean I'm 25 years old and I'm also hurt because I want a man to love me for who I am not for how I look I believe true love doesn't matter how that person looks.its what's in there heart that matter and as long as that person makes you happy that's all that matters plus that wasent the first time he has done stupid crap like that his littest son had a sezior and had to be rushed to the er and he stayed home and got on the internet veiwing his nasty old hos.I mean what kind of real man would throw his own son off for porno and another rhing I hate is I don't have sex with him at all anymore because after lying to me for the last 6 years now he finally told me he probley did it when he's drunk cause he don't remember it but still says he don't look at it when he is sober.so I will not sleep with him anymore I mess with myself at least me fantisizing about my favorit person john cena I wount get hurt anymore lol but I just don't under stand him because when I do take my own time out to make myself happy if I even look at a poster on my wall of john cena he threatens to rip it down so why is it OK for men to do this but they don't like it if there woman was looking at other men so give them a taste of there own meds

[s_cianci]

I would definitely be suspicious. If he was just "holding it for a friend", he had no need to conceal it from you. If he is telling the truth but concealed it because he felt you wouldn't approve, even though it was just a friend's, then he shouldn't have been holding it in the first place. After all, why does he need to babysit his friend's belongings?

[ILOVEKDB]

Don't let it ruin your relationship, if you find out it was him... just tell him you don't like it and give him a chance to stop... If my girlfriend didn't give me a chance we wouldn't be the happy almost perfect couple we are now... Just ask him to be honest with you and ask him if there yours... tell him you won't be mad if they are but you will be mad if you find out he's lying, make sure you look him in the eyes while your saying this...