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    Jess_'s Avatar
    Jess_ Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 18, 2010, 02:25 PM
    Should I sign a prenupt?
    Hi any comment would be greatly appreciated :)

    My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married more and more recently and last night he said he wants us to sign a prenupt before we get married..

    This actually upset me that he would go into it thinking that it might end or that I would want to take his money if it did.

    Is it a good idea to sign one? Anyone have a similar experience?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Aug 18, 2010, 05:56 PM

    If he wants a prenupt, then why don't you have a contract that's works in your own interest?

    Don't sign until he does, and have your lawyer review it first. You do have a lawyer right? Bet a million bucks he does, and that's who drew up, and suggested his prenupt.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 19, 2010, 01:36 AM
    I agree with Tal.

    A prenup has nothing to do with anything other than business. I can understand being realistic in this day and age, because, let's face it, marriage doesn't exactly have a good track record- what is the percentage now, somewhere around 50% I think, that fail.

    In some cultures, the marriage itself is pre-negotiated, right down to the arrangements of picking the actual partner.

    Try not to feel insulted, or slighted, or relate any of this to his lack of love or commitment to you. It is a little insurance for both of you, that, should the marriage end, your interests and his interests will be protected.

    This, unheard of only a generation or so ago, is a good idea in my opinion, for both parties.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #4

    Aug 19, 2010, 05:00 AM

    It kind of ruins the fairy tale feeling, doesn’t it? If you’re marrying a controlling jerk, then I’d ditch him, but if he’s someone with a lot of wealth that is a really wonderful man otherwise, then why not try to figure out how to make it work?

    Make it perfectly clear (in writing) that splitting up is not an option for you, and that this prenuptial contract is an insult to your commitment to your future husband.

    A successful prenupt makes both partners feel they've gotten what they need. So even though you have less money doesn't mean you have less say in deciding what the provisions of a prenup will be.

    First off be certain that you hire your own attorney to review the prenupt to ensure you are protected.

    Some provisions I would include:

    * If any trouble arises in the marriage, your husband agrees to sit down and talk about it.. . Until the problem is fixed, otherwise the prenupt is null and void.

    * If the marriage fails because your husband is unfaithful, you get X dollars.

    * All children you have together will be financially, spiritually, and emotionally protected.

    * Some couples decide that the wealthy partner will pay for all of the living expenses while the earnings of the person with the least money will go exclusively toward building up his or her own nest egg.

    * Some couples throw in the addition of money at certain points in their life. An example may be at 15 years you would be eligble to get X dollars and it would go up at 20 years, etc.

    Good luck!

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