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    Sonud's Avatar
    Sonud Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 14, 2020, 02:15 AM
    Should I be marrying this girl?
    I met my fiancee when we had been on-site together. She was my friend's girlfriend then.. I am 23 and she is few years older to me... when we landed thr it was her idea to stay together to I agreed against my parents wish... As days passed by we started interacting more, spending more time together.. One day she insisted me to sleepwith her as she used to be afraid at night... As we started sleeping together, she started getting intimate and touch me uttering her boyfriends name in sleep... in the morning she would remember nothing... one day I confronted her and she denied that she doesn't remember what she does at night.. I started falling for her.... when we returned back from on-site.. I proposed her and she broke up with her boyfriend..As time passed by and I am back to my family and friends I realised it was probably just an infatuation and I emotionally do not feel connected with her.... we are now engaged and when I asked her does she really not remember what she had been doing in sleep
    she said kept quiet. I confronted to one of my friends I got a feedback that she seem to have manipulated me to be in the relationship and she doesn't seem to be not as innocent.... The base of our relationship is not right...
    I am not sure what should I be doing now..
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Dec 14, 2020, 03:57 PM
    Don't get married given what you have posted. If it doesn't feel right don't do it. I don't know if she played you for a fool or herself, but you both would be foolish to act on what has happened between you with marriage. I doubt if she likes this change in plans, so be prepared to stand your ground as you honestly but gently inform her the marriage is OFF!

    I fully agree with you though, lust and stupidity is a lousy foundation for marriage. At least you LEARNED how easy you are to the female charms, and what lousy judgements you can make. Unfortunately a new lesson will emerge and I hope you LEARN to deal with that too...the emotional fallout of those judgements, decisions, and behavior.

    It will be rough but you can handle it, as many have before you at that stage in life.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    Jul 25, 2021, 12:25 PM
    If you have to ask whether you want to marry someone. Best to take a step back to figure things out.

    Relationships are hard work and marriage is a step further, which requires a lot of trust for the marriage to survive. It only gets tougher as time goes on, so if you are already on such shaky (at best) grounds already...

    Based on what you said, best to back off and meet some new people. There are over 6 billion people in the world to meet! Find someone that you trust and can be honest with truthful with.

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