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    cshotton's Avatar
    cshotton Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 2, 2008, 07:02 PM
    Should I leave my husband.
    Hi, I've been married for almost 11 years. I'm hispanic my husband white. Over the past couple of months my husband told me that he did not love me anymore. He told me that he had being building some resentment towards me over the past two years or so but could not find the courage to tell me so. He did say that he had been hinting that we were growing apart. He told me that we never really became friends in our marriage, and maybe a lot of miscommunication happened. I also worked a lot while he went to school. We just didn't have time for us. We have two kids, 10 and 8, and I always wanted another one. About a month ago one of his friends was going to divorce. He went there to comfort her because according to him, they have been best friends since high school. One thing let to another and they ended up having sex. He never told me, but I found out about it. He then told me to that we should go to counseling. We've been doing that for about a month now and today he told me that he had filed for divorce about a two weeks ago. There has never been any physical abuse, we don't drink, he just claims that we never had a true friendship and now is ready to move on. I feel he pays too much attention to his friend from high school, but he says that the friendship with her is different. That they are truly friends. He has not given me the chance to let him know I can be that friend too. I love him so much but is it worth it to stay or fight for our marriage when he filed for divorce and implies that he can not love me anymore?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Apr 2, 2008, 07:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by cshotton
    they have been best friends since high school. One thing let to another and they ended up having sex.
    There has never been any physical abuse, we don't drink, he just claims that we never had a true friendship and now is ready to move on. I feel he pays to much attention to his friend from highschool, but he says that the friendship with her is different. That they are truly friends. He has not given me the chance to let him know I can be that friend too. I love him so much but is it worth it to stay or fight for our marriage when he filed for divorce and implies that he can not love me anymore??
    He says you and he were never truly friends so he wants to give up on the marriage.
    They ended up having sex. He says that the friend from high school --with her is different.
    That they are truly friends.

    Sounds like he would rather be WITH his friend than his wife.
    Sign the divorce --reason adultery --on his part.
    lala0211's Avatar
    lala0211 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 2, 2008, 07:19 PM
    Sounds like he is a jerk. Sorry. Yea I think you know exactly what you need to do. You don't deserve to be put on the back burner because of a "friend". Family comes first at all times. I know you have put a lot of time into this marriage but consider it a life lesson. And nothing more. I would move on as peacefully as possible because of your children but all in all just let go.
    lala0211's Avatar
    lala0211 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 2, 2008, 07:19 PM
    Sounds like he is a jerk. Sorry. Yea I think you know exactly what you need to do. You don't deserve to be put on the back burner because of a "friend". Family comes first at all times. I know you have put a lot of time into this marriage but consider it a life lesson. And nothing more. I would move on as peacefully as possible because of your children but all in all just let go.
    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,099, Reputation: 236
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    #5

    Apr 4, 2008, 07:24 PM
    Welcome to AMHD.
    Quote Originally Posted by cshotton
    We've been doing that (counseling) for about a month now and today he told me that he had filed for divorce about a two weeks ago... I feel he pays to much attention to his friend from highschool, but he says that the friendship with her is different. That they are truly friends. He has not given me the chance to let him know I can be that friend too. I love him so much but is it worth it to stay or fight for our marriage when he filed for divorce and implies that he can not love me anymore??
    I am a believer in a 'trial separation' and family counseling. It's hard to understand how he filed for divorce two weeks ago and you haven't been served or signed for your copy. If that is what is going on, get yourself the best matrimonial lawyer in town.

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