 |
|
| Browse | Ask | Answer | Search | Join/Login |
|
|
||||
|
Should I leave him over his addiction to porn
I have been married to my second husband for almost 2 years and it has been one lie after another from him... I'm honestly sick of it! It all started w/ right after I married him, I found out he had lied about how many times he had been married, he told me 2 times, try 6! His excuse to that was he's not exactly proud of that. He doesn't have kids of his own, but I have 2 sons, ages 12 and 14... they get along for the most part, but it's very clear why he has none of his own... they should be seen and not heard.
Pornography is the latest thing, I've been dealing w/ this for over a year. And he lies to me about it. I've even shown him proof and he chalks it up to pop ups. He must really think I'm stupid, I have software on the computer that logs EVERYTHING! I love him, but not enough to stay in this situation, he refuses to talk about it... right now, I'm trying to call him and he won't answer his phone because he knows I found out he was looking at that stuff on the internet again last night. My car is in his name, I cannot afford it if I leave, but I can't get one on my own because my credit is AWFUL... I have a pretty nice paying job and could make it on my own, but how do I get around the car issue AND I have nothing saved up. My kids see this coming and it's sad because to spite everything, they love him, but enough is enough! HELP!! |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
I believe you are dealing with a real trust issue with him because he CAN'T be trusted. You are probably only finding the top of the worm hole and he is hiding much more. There is N0way you can trust him unless he came totally clean with you and then, IF he did, everything he told you would most likely make you want to leave all the more.
If you are dependent on the car to get to work and back I don't know what you can do, but if you can get to work and back --leave and find ways to get around. Can you make him be the one to leave and you stay? Is there anyway you can start saving toward a car? Since you have a job there are many car dealers and financial places that will give you credit even if you have bad credit and you can make payments under $200. A month. Here is a page to give you an idea how much you may qualify for Used Car Loans, No or Bad Credit Auto Loan Financing for Bankruptcy. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
You can do it! If you are really unhappy and you think leaving is the right thing to do don't let a car stop you. It should be the least of your worries. In my opinion looking at porn is the same as cheating to me, and my husband agrees.
|
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Dear lady.
The fact that your husband is a habitual liar is a root description of his character. There is no way you can trust a word out of his mouth. Trust is without a doubt a cornerstone of marriage. If you cannot trust your spouse, you will wallow in fear and doubt about whatever adverb you put next to his name. Leaving and filing for a divorce is not something I would normally advocate. However, if just for your peace of mind it is something you need to consider. Secondly, consider what is potentially being offered to you children in your absence, porn. Oh and by the way, would you honestly expect your son to tell you he and his step dad are watching porn. Also, most child molesters start by introducing the unsuspecting child to porn to prove to them that their parents are lying to them about sex. Please take some time to talk to an attorney regarding your rights and if you are worried about your children, talk to the Police! |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
I appreciate your reply and you're right, he is an habitual liar. I've tried to be compassionate and understand where he is coming from and why he must feel the need to lie. The fact that he's been married so many times, well -- I contacted every one of those women and alcohol is the reason they left, he does drink quite a bit and it's routine, every night at 8 until about midnight ; he gets a buzz, but I've never seen him drunk. I am not trying to make excuses, I am just trying to give you what I see. He would never expose my sons to porn... trust me, I know this. I have heard from various resources, a best friend dealing w/ the same thing who says this is an addiction, a sickness -- that he can't help it. I beg to differ. I have decided it's time to build a savings account for my peace of mind and if I am already contemplating leaving, it's only a matter of time. I love this man and I feel I have gone above and beyond to make this work, but right is right and wrong is wrong... so now, I just need to get my ducks in a row.
 Originally Posted by donf
|
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Bluigirl,
Trust me, there is nothing an addicted person will not do to keep the addiction front and center for him. I've been there and through that stuff with my son's drug and alcohol problems. Nothing they say is the truth, anything they do is to support their additions. In this case Alcohol and Sex. When I married, I used to drive my wife nuts with lying. She finally busted me out of the habit by forcing a confrontation on every lie that came out of my mouth. It must have taken about a year or so. But what stopped my lying was the constant battle when I told one. It actually much easier to tell the truth then a lie. Preparation is necessary if you do choose to to move forward with a divorce. However, you must and I really mean must watch like a hawk to make sure your husband's slime doesn't rub off onto your children! This is a dangerous person to be in your household. |
||||
|
|
Not your question?
Ask your question
View similar questions
| Question Tools | Search this Question |
Check out some similar questions!
My boyfriend and porn
[ 11 Answers ]
I was sleeping one day, and our computer is in our bedroom, when I woke up, and rolled over there I saw my boyfriend watching porn videos.. he didn't see me, but NOW I'm so.. I don't know, I don't even have words. I am a very sexual human being, and we have sex all the time, I enjoy porn just as...
Hubby's Porn Addiction!
[ 11 Answers ]
Hello, I'm new to this message board but I'm so glad I found it. I need help but first let me tell you more and I'll do my best to be brief. ;) I'm mostly happily married for 17 years and have two kids. I adore my hubby except for one thing -- a battle with a porn addiction. I didn't...
Is it more than porn?
[ 21 Answers ]
Okay... So, a while back, I asked a question about porn and my boyfriend... and I was starting to get over the fact that he watches it until yesterday I found on his computer xpeeps.com, which I know is a site for people to post their own pictures and such. And one of the pages he had visited was...
Porn in history
[ 6 Answers ]
My boyfriend constanty has porn sites on his browsing history. He says he doesn't look at the porn, and that he must have a virus that adds porn to his history. Is there a virus that can do this? I want to believe him, but all other guys I've asked have said that this has never happened to them. I...
8 yr old looking at porn
[ 4 Answers ]
My 8 year old girl has been looking at porn websites behind my back, when I confronted her she said that she wanted to look at it so she didn't do what they were doing. She promised not to look at it again but she did just yesterday
View more questions Search
|
