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    Princessm1970's Avatar
    Princessm1970 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 2, 2016, 10:31 PM
    Secrets
    I think my husband has a hidden cell phone how can I find out?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,253, Reputation: 5642
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    #2

    Nov 3, 2016, 12:48 AM
    What makes you think this? Have you asked him? Communication is the key to any relationship.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Nov 3, 2016, 04:46 AM
    Unfounded suspicions will wreck a relationship faster than anything. If you can't talk to the person or trust the person you are in a relationship with... married or not, you will in time drive it to ruin. Nobody likes being accused of something, male or female, husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.

    Tread lightly....
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #4

    Nov 3, 2016, 04:56 AM
    Your post indicates that, yes, many secrets in your relationship, not only a hidden cell phone. Get this out in the open and talk.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Nov 3, 2016, 03:27 PM
    If you want to know what's going on in your relationship, or if your spouse is hiding something, then ask him. Seems like there's a lack of trust on your part. Why is that? Has he done something that makes you think he's keeping secrets or is it just your suspicious nature?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #6

    Nov 3, 2016, 03:47 PM
    You can't.
    Trust him, talk with him about your fears, or divorce him.
    If you tell him your fears, either accept his answer or not. If not, go to step 3.

    What deviously clever people do is lie. They would say 'I got a phone call from someone who said OOPS, meant to call on the other phone, click.' But I don't think you have the imagination for what would follow, so forget that trick.

    A marriage without trust is no marriage.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Nov 3, 2016, 06:33 PM
    I've learned most of the time people who are the first to point fingers at others without any proof or evidence, are usually the ones with the guilty conscience.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,884, Reputation: 10852
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    #8

    Nov 4, 2016, 08:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Princessm1970 View Post
    I think my husband has a hidden cell phone how can I find out?
    Ask him or nag and snoop until his head (Or yours!) pops off. Have you tried either of these methods already? If so what happened?
    Princessm1970's Avatar
    Princessm1970 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 7, 2016, 01:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Ask him or nag and snoop until his head (Or yours!) pops off. Have you tried either of these methods already? If so what happened?
    He is the kind of person that denys until you Have proof.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,884, Reputation: 10852
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    #10

    Nov 7, 2016, 08:08 AM
    Why do you think he has a secret cell phone?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #11

    Nov 7, 2016, 02:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Princessm1970 View Post
    He is the kind of person that denys until you Have proof.
    And so does every other person who is being accused of something they weren't doing. Including you. When was the last time you admitted to doing something you weren't doing just because someone accused you of it? See my point?

    You have no proof at all except you THINK he does ( that you have presented yet anyway). And accusing someone without proof never ends well for the person doing it. I wouldn't tolerate my wife doing that....nor would most other married people. If it was someone I was dating...I'd end the relationship right there for that reason.

    Absent any proof, you need to let it go (gut feeling isn't proof but hearing him talking with someone in a room with no phone or computer could be, as long as he's not just talking to himself.) It should be obvious when someone is either way. Even with it, there will likely be consequences for making accusations. Without it there certainly will be.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #12

    Nov 7, 2016, 03:28 PM
    If you were to ask, and he said no, would you believe him? Would there still be circumstances that cause you to think otherwise?

    Only you can decide whether there are sufficient reasons causing you to wonder about it. And only you can decide if those reasons are enough to merit a discussion with him, to share your concerns.

    Then you decide if it puts your concerns to rest, changes nothing, or exacerbates your concerns. Which then leaves you with more decisions to make.

    I wish you well...

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