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    angel2828's Avatar
    angel2828 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 18, 2009, 03:13 AM
    Second Marriage
    Hi... I don't know how to start this question... I'm muslim divorced and has a kid with me... actually I divorced him bcoz of so many reasonss... after so many years of my divorcée life I'm in love with this man who is a christian... married and has a kid... he wants to marry me but my condition is that he should not leave his first wife which he is agreeing bcoz he loves her also... which I know very well... we have reached a phase where we both cannot do without each other... please advice how can we marry and is registered marriage possible? Please helpppppppp...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jun 18, 2009, 03:59 AM

    Where do you live ? Since in the US anyway you can not be married to two people at the same time.

    I am not as worried at being married to two people as I am the difference in the two faiths. Two people if each is really a firm beleiver in their faith, that relationship will never really work
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Jun 18, 2009, 04:02 AM

    If you live in America then it is impossible unless you convert to Mormon and move to Utah. I doubt his wife would go for that at all though.

    He needs to make a choice between you or her. Otherwise you are just sloppy seconds and wrecking a married life.

    If he leaves her then the marriage is wrecked of course but at least it will be more honest.

    The way you want to do it he would have to hide it from his wife and that is dishonest and unfair to her in every way. If he tells her then most likely the marriage or your relationship would end anyway.
    angel2828's Avatar
    angel2828 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 18, 2009, 04:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    where do you live ? since in the US anyway you can not be married to two people at the same time.

    I am not as worried at being married to two people as I am the difference in the two faiths. Two people if each is really a firm beleiver in thier faith, that relationship will never really work
    Hi... thanks for your response... we don't live in US... but the think is that we cannot do without each other... and I don't want him to break his marriage bcoz he loves his wife also... why can't he marry me as well... and be with her also...
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #5

    Jun 18, 2009, 04:54 AM

    What country do you live in?
    If his wife is not aware that he is with you then it is unfair to her.
    The he loves you both and her not being included in the decisions is selfishness on his part.

    So is he wanting to keep this from her?

    He wants his cake and eat it too.
    angel2828's Avatar
    angel2828 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jun 18, 2009, 04:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    If you live in America then it is impossible unless you convert to Mormon and move to Utah. I doubt his wife would go for that at all though.

    He needs to make a choice between you or her. Otherwise you are just sloppy seconds and wrecking a married life.

    If he leaves her then the marriage is wrecked of course but at least it will be more honest.

    The way you want to do it he would have to hide it from his wife and that is dishonest and unfair to her in every way. If he tells her then most likely the marriage or your relationship would end anyway.
    Hi... thanks for your reply... I don't know but he is not going to leave me... and his wife has a doubt about our relation... but I'm sure he is not going to leave me and go when the truth is out... but I need to marry him...
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #7

    Jun 18, 2009, 04:58 AM

    Well I'd say it is all up to the wife and/or the laws of your land.

    He can't just say he wants you both unless you live where women are oppressed and men can have more than one wife.
    hheath541's Avatar
    hheath541 Posts: 2,762, Reputation: 584
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    #8

    Jun 24, 2009, 12:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    If you live in America then it is impossible unless you convert to Mormon and move to Utah. I doubt his wife would go for that at all though.

    He needs to make a choice between you or her. Otherwise you are just sloppy seconds and wrecking a married life.

    If he leaves her then the marriage is wrecked of course but at least it will be more honest.

    The way you want to do it he would have to hide it from his wife and that is dishonest and unfair to her in every way. If he tells her then most likely the marriage or your relationship would end anyway.
    Actually, even in Utah polygamy is not legal. It's against federal law and individual states, or religions, have no say in it. Even though some sects of the mormon church still practice polygamy, only the first marriage is legally recognized. Any subsequent marriages either have no legal standing or are actually breaking the law and can get all involved parties in serious legal trouble.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Jun 24, 2009, 03:55 AM

    The OP seems to be avoiding the issue of where they live, asked twice and they seem to refuse to tell.

    I am closing this thread for lack of feedback, if the OP wants real help, they will come back and give a lot more specific info.
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