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    cute_blu_fairy17's Avatar
    cute_blu_fairy17 Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Nov 3, 2005, 10:34 PM
    Romantic Gestures
    I was wondering if anyone out there had any ideas for romantic gestures? My fiancée and I have broken up, and I have racked my brain trying to think of something I could do, something that could help... and I cannot think of a single thing. Please help me out! I know I may be a little young (16-20 years old) but I know that this is the guy for me, he truly is different... and the only guy of his kind. There is no one like him. He is sweet, kind, caring, and he has the best personality... He is so much fun to be with, and be around, and he is hardly ever in a bad mood. He is not a pig like most men, and he never makes me do anything I don't want to do. He is so sexy, and after some of the men I've known, I know that he truly is the one. If anyone has any suggestions, I would really appreciate it. :)

    B.T.W. -- We are in a long distance relationship -- and we haven't had any problems up until this point, and we have been together for well over 4 years, so I know they can work, they just have bumpier parts once in a long while, than other relationships may have.

    Thank you for reading about the problem I would like to fix, but please... respond... I would really enjoy hearing from you!
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member

    Nov 4, 2005, 05:40 AM
    Hi, Cuteblufairy,
    Long distance relationships are hard, normally, to keep going. My own experience at 18 yrs old was that I was in love with my high school sweetheart. She finally said she loved me, too. We both enrolled in different colleges, separated by about 500 miles!
    After 1 year, she wrote me, said she had found her "true love", and was engaged! We were never engaged to be married, but I thought we would be together after that first year was up, at least for the summer months. It didn't happen. Took me about a yr or two to get over it.
    People change with age, different feelings, different things they want out of life.
    I am sorry to hear about this, but the fact is, a long distance relationship is very, very difficult to keep going; unless, a couple has been married for some yrs, and one has to be away for awhile.
    I don't know anything you can do go get him back. Sending cards, emails, phone calls, etc, won't get him back, unless he wants you back anyway. He might have changed his mind, found someone else.
    Love is hard to get over, and you will always remember him. But for now, please start meeting new people. There is someone out there for you, who respects you, and you him. Life is full of disappointments, and full of lost loves. The problem is; how to deal with it. The answer is; meet new people. Start talking with other boys/men. Your life isn't over, it's just starting!
    cute_blu_fairy17's Avatar
    cute_blu_fairy17 Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Nov 4, 2005, 12:59 PM
    Well, while I thank you for your advice, fredg, I know that he does, in fact, want me back because he has told me himself. At the same time though, he said/hinted that a romantic gesture would be nice, and I agree with him, because sometimes I just don't try for him when I should -- it's not that I don't love him, because I do... I am very much in love with him, but I am *unfortunate* to say, that I am just plain lazy.. Which is something I am trying to stop doing. I am lazy when it comes to trying, when it comes to school, and housework, among other things. I know that if I find something that would be perfect that I could do to show my love to him, and to show that I care a lot about him, that we will get back together very soon. Maybe I am just not very bright or something, but I can't think of what I can do. And as far as you advising me to meet new people, I am sorry to say that that is just something I could never do. I admit, yes, it wouldn't be considered cheating, but nonetheless, I could never do that to him. Another point to back up my decision is that I know, for a fact, there truly isn't any other guy I want. I am 100% completely in love with him. I just can't help it.. He is the best of the best, and even though you all may not believe that this changes anything, he is a devout Christian. I've met a lot of different people before -- guys, girls, and there is no one that I have ever met before that even comes close to being as sweet, caring, and nice as he is. I hope to hear more replies from everyone else, as well. Even if I may not agree with some of the views and advice I may get, It would be most appreciative. Thank you. :)
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member

    Nov 5, 2005, 05:46 AM
    In Love
    I, also, am a Christian, and YES, it means a lot to be Christian. Nothing else comes close.
    You can try different things to let him know you love him. Send him cards, send him emails, or call him and talk for awhile on the phone.
    You could also send him a gift, something not really costly, but something that shows him you care for him. I'm sure if you visit a large department store, like Walmart, KMart, etc, you can come up with an idea.
    Also, if you are "lazy", that isn't going to help, because you will keep putting off doing any of the above. Just tell yourself that today, I HAVE to do this!
    Don't put off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today. If you do, nothing will ever get done.
    Take that first step, and do it. I wish you good luck, and hope everything works out for you and him.
    Angelliz24's Avatar
    Angelliz24 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 11, 2008, 07:58 PM
    I actually singed up to this site to answer your question, believe it or not. I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 6 years out of the 7 we have been dating. Been in love with him since I was 17. Anyway, he went to college far away and I stayed and went to college here, and have yet to live in the same city. Long distance relationships CAN work. They don't work however if people are lazy, aren't really committed to one another, and aren't loyal. Communication is all you have in a long distance relationship... you have to communicate.
    So, this is what my boyfriend and I do- we talk on the phone almost EVERY day even if it is just 15 minutes between classes or 4 hours on the weekend. I text him when he's at work just to say Hi or tel him something funny. We email, send myspace comments, I send him thinking of you cards/holiday cards in the mail. I send him letters by mail when I'm away from the computer but thinking of him. I send him little shoebox sized packages of something that I think he'd need, like when he was sick- I sent him these vitamins and stuff for a cold- it showed him I care about him and even though I can't be there, I'm trying to take care of him. Things like that, clip out a comic from the newspaper that he'd enjoy or a send a magazine with a full page spread of something he's really interested in. From time to time, I do a BIG gesture.. I've showed up dressed up and unannounced with chinese take out on his front door step ona really cold night as he comes home from a midterm from his hardest class, we hadn't seen each other for a long time and he kept saying " I can't believe you're here". I've "kidnapped" him and blind folded him and we went on a secret picnic in a park, I even made extra stops and turns so he woudlnt know where we were going. I packed his favorite foods. When he was ona diet, I looked up all the info about it to make sure that a dinner I was making for him was everything he could eat, and it showed him that I care about his health and care enough to take the time to look up the information and go out and buy the special foods just for him.

    I guess my point is that one BIG gesture is great, and it's a good memory but its temporary, and if you just do that one BIG gesture, and then get lazy again.. what have you accomplished? What have you shown him except that you only put up the effort when you're afraid of losing or have lost him. Its not the way to treat someone you truly love and who loves you back. So, do a big gesture, and then don't stop! Keep up the effort with little gestures, from time to time. Ok this is long. Hope it helps. Hope you two can get back together. Hope this isn't too late.
    icandecide's Avatar
    icandecide Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 14, 2008, 12:46 AM
    OK this might be extreme
    But I know what he is asking
    Like any other guy
    He want something that is sexual
    He was a naked picture of you.
    I am also in a long distance relationship
    And I have been asking my girlfriend for one
    And she constantly shooting me down
    And that made me extremely sad
    Its not really about the actually picture
    But that she wouldn't do something so simple for me.
    Yeah that is my input

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