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    sameer1973's Avatar
    sameer1973 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 18, 2011, 04:53 AM
    I really love my wife a lot and I have hidden things with her
    My Wife is angry with me becoz I have lied to her a lot but I have realised m mistake and now I have made a decision that inshalah I will never lie but she is not ready to listen she is telling me that she wants a khula I really love her a lot and I am ready to change myself.. please help me what should I do.I really love my wife a lot and I have hidden things with her in the fear of losing her and didn't tell her about my loans and stuff I lied to her and today she came to know through a 3 person about my loans now she is very angry with me and wants to take khula from me I told her sorry many times and told her why I didn't tell her earlier becoz I didn't wanted to hurt and lose her but she is not ready to listen she is giving me damki that she will take khula and show me I really love her a lot and I have taken swear also that I will never lie to her no matter what happens. Please help me what should I do to get her trust back and also her in my life.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Apr 18, 2011, 08:04 AM

    She won't trust you until you PROVE you are trustworthy.

    I thought you had confessed to her but when I read it it sounds like you didn't confess everything and she found out about another loan.

    You have to be honest with her. If she can't believe you she may very well decide it's better to leave.
    ajwain's Avatar
    ajwain Posts: 55, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Apr 18, 2011, 09:47 AM
    Its really hard to accept a person whom you trust the most when trust breaks! Your wife at the moment is angry and so is reacting.. just sit with her and speak to her everything as it is and the reasons for hiding the truth too.give her some time she will understand.but you have to be honest now.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,321, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Apr 23, 2011, 01:08 PM

    You better hope she cools off and is ready to listen, because who can blame her for being sick of your crap. If you did the right things you wouldn't have to lie. Would you?

    Its up to her whether she wants to put up with your crap, but if you do get a second chance, do better. If you don't, DO BETTER!!
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Apr 24, 2011, 02:18 PM

    Come on its time to grow up and be a man! Stop lying and covering up like a child who doesn't know any better. Once you break a trust given then it can only be healed by proving that you will never break it AGAIN!!
    towhidskynet's Avatar
    towhidskynet Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    May 11, 2011, 10:47 AM
    Is this an arranged marriage? I think so. Again cultural understanding makes a huge difference

    Well, your situation is that uncommon my friend. If you dig deep, you may find a lot of secret about your wife.

    1. You did a mistake by not letting her know about your debt, OR fix the debt problem before going into a marriage.

    2. Once you get married, you two are inseparable. Your problem is also your wife's problem and vice-verse . It will be hard for her to accept your lying to her. Give her sometime to cool off and talk to her. Both of you are now involved in this and both of you should now solve this. Just give her sometime to cool off. And she leaves you just because you have loans, then you deserve a better person in future.

    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #7

    May 11, 2011, 01:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by towhidskynet View Post
    is this an arranged marriage? i think so. again cultural understanding makes a huge difference

    well, your situation is that uncommon my friend. if you dig deep, you may find a lot of secret about your wife.

    1. You did a mistake by not letting her know about your debt, OR fix the debt problem before going into a marriage.

    2. Once you get married, you two are inseparable. Your problem is also your wife's problem and vice-verse . It will be hard for her to accept your lying to her. Give her sometime to cool off and talk to her. Both of you are now involved in this and both of you should now solve this. Just give her sometime to cool off. and she leaves you just because you have loans, then you deserve a better person in future.


    Dig deeper and find out her secrets? If she leaves OP because of his lies over loans (which he lied to her about) he deserves a better person?

    What? You condone the lying? I do not see this as a strong foundation for an "inseparable" marriage. He lied and kept lying. You excuse that?

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