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    Whatis1's Avatar
    Whatis1 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:21 AM
    Is it possible that my wife is thinking about her ex when we make love?
    I'm married and my wife has ex black boyfriend. I always think when we make love that she still thinking about him is that possible she can think about him?
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
    		  
    #2

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:26 AM
    Have you actually ASKED her?
    Whatis1's Avatar
    Whatis1 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:30 AM
    She always say no but she tald me she never has orgasm with him just with me is that possible or she lying?

    Is that possible she will never forget that night with him because she was virgin and he was her first?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #4

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:33 AM
    You have to trust her at her word. Maybe say her name a couple times with honey, sweetie, love, to put a damper on any fantasy she might be having. Of course you don't want to over do that either.
    SuperMan007's Avatar
    SuperMan007 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:35 AM
    Why are still thinking about the past? Trust your wife and love her.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:35 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Whatis1 View Post
    Is that possible she will never forget that night with him because she was virgin and he was her first?
    You can not control what goes on in her mind. You have to be there for her and be supportive of her to create your own lasting impression on her mind. Eventually as your relationship deepens her thoughts of him will fade. If you dwell on this and make it your insecurity you will put up a wall and never get that closeness you desire.
    Whatis1's Avatar
    Whatis1 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:36 AM
    I'm always thinking when I make love with her someone els making love with that make me come is that normal?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #8

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:41 AM
    For some people that is normal
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #9

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:42 AM
    Why are you constantly reminding her of HIM? Stop asking about him! If she's thinking about him, it's probably YOUR fault.

    And you have to think of other women so you have an orgasm?
    Whatis1's Avatar
    Whatis1 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Sep 22, 2013, 10:01 AM
    Is that true is my wife she never has orgasm with her ex she is saying she has orgasm just with me? And if she was with black before me and he was 9 inch and Iam 5 inch so she will not think about him?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #11

    Sep 22, 2013, 10:08 AM
    She is human and has a mind full of memories created before she met you. She can not change the fact that she might think of him or a meal she ate five years ago. Memories pop up occasionally. That does not mean she is thinking of him when you are having sex with her.

    I use the term 'having sex' because as long as you are focused on her ex you are not going to be 'making love together'.

    Do you love your wife and are you attracted to her? Do you trust that she loves you and is attracted to you? Do you work together to build new memories and enjoy being with each other?

    Let your insecurities go. She is with you. She is building a life with you. Are you building a life with her or her ex?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #12

    Sep 22, 2013, 10:43 AM
    How long have you been married and how long has this guy been her ex?
    I think your own insecurity about yourself is what makes you think this. That is going to affect your marriage if you don't put a stop to it. She married you, not the other guy but as long as you bring it up, she may begin to regret marrying you.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #13

    Sep 22, 2013, 10:52 AM
    So his 9 inches makes him a better lover than your 5 inches does? If you believe that, you do not know and understand how a woman makes love. The LAST thing we care about his how big a penis is. That is a little boy's worry, not a woman's worry.

    We make love with our brains and our emotions. How are you appealing to her brain and emotion? Lovemaking for a woman begins hours before the actual event.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #14

    Sep 22, 2013, 12:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Whatis1 View Post
    I'm always thinking when I make love with her someone els making love with that make me come is that normal?
    . If thinking of your wife being with someone else turns you on WHY are you so disturbed by her ex?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #15

    Sep 23, 2013, 06:38 AM
    People often think of others when having sex, movie stars, people they know, that just happen
    Whatis1's Avatar
    Whatis1 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Oct 4, 2013, 03:05 PM
    Wife
    My wife very horney she is asking me for sex 3 times a day is that normal?
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
    		  
    #17

    Oct 4, 2013, 03:26 PM
    Are you really complaining??
    Whatis1's Avatar
    Whatis1 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Oct 4, 2013, 03:37 PM
    Yeh but it's too much now 9 months we married everyday sex 3 times now I feel like I want 4 or5 times a week?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #19

    Oct 4, 2013, 04:31 PM
    Different people have different sex drives, for many 3 times a day is normal, esp when first married or first in a new relationship. Was sexual needs not explored or discussed when dating.

    But of course realisticly a couple where both man and wife works, it is hard to find the time.

    Have you discussed this with her, and asked about some limits certain days ?
    Whatis1's Avatar
    Whatis1 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Oct 4, 2013, 05:07 PM
    I did talk to her about that but she is not happy
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