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bazzey · Sep 22, 2011, 02:54 AM

I've been with my wife for 24 years now she says she needs space why

JoeCanada76 · Sep 22, 2011, 03:00 AM

Good question? What has been happening in the relationship you think? Any changes as of late to explain why she needs space?

Sounds to me there might be a communication problem. You have been married for 24 years yet your not sure why she needs space.

There must be more information you can share with us that might help us better in guiding you to a resolution with this?

What kind of space? How long? What precipitated this?

bazzey · Sep 22, 2011, 03:11 AM

Well we have lived in North Carolina for about 18 years in about 2 months ago she left me and my son in North Carolina and she had come to New York with my daughter emerge later I am I had moved up here to try to work things out with her in the past all the time she is guys hanging all over all the time yes I got me she is barbara sheriff cheating I've done my share of cheating we have all the love in the world for each other she wants to go to marriage counseling she told me that we need to separate in live in separate houses I sleep in the car now but he let me babysit my daughter she says on the babysitter I told her I want to be more than a babysitter but were she live now in New York I am not on the lease so I can stay there and I hated at me sleep in the car I would never make my wife sleep in the car never and no means in 1 day she says this in the next day she says that should I be mad or should I appreciate every minute that I can be weather please tell me what I need to do or should I just walk away forever h

In and out with her new apartment there is this guy that likes her real bad any told everybody that he wants her in-n-out tonight her key is missing in the night before that I seen it on the book

She is a alcoholic real bad

She is everbody to talk to I have nobody to talk to I need someone that I could talk to

joypulv · Sep 22, 2011, 03:57 AM

bazzey, your writing is almost incoherent. Half your words don't make sense. Please check spelling and use periods, and don't use real names of anyone!
I get that you are in NY now sleeping in your car (but using her computer?) and want to work things out with her. Is she in AA, or how bad is the drinking?

The biggee is: she wants marriage counseling, so what is stopping you?

(I don't get babies at your age, or the babysitter story, or how many men are in and out, or most of all the rest, and who cheated or not or who started it is not relevant here.)

But please just reply why you haven't started counseling.

Cat1864 · Sep 22, 2011, 06:06 AM

Bazzey, I, too, am having difficulty reading your post. Somehow, I think there is a translation/spell checking program causing some issues. If you are not using a translation or spell checking program let me know. There may be something else going on.

I am going to state what I think you are saying, if I get anything wrong or miss something please let me know.

You and your wife lived together with your two children in North Carolina for approximately 18 years. About two months ago, she took your daughter and moved to New York. At some point in the past two months you followed her.

She has a lot of men giving her attention. (Your post says 'in the past'. Does this mean while she was in North Carolina or since she has been in New York?)

You think she is probably cheating. In the past you have cheated on her. However, you both love each other a lot. She wants to go to marriage counseling.

She thinks you need to live apart while working on the marriage.

She is allowing you to take care of your daughter. You want more than just being a daddy (If you are the child's father then taking care of her is not babysitting. It is being a father.)

You are currently sleeping in your car because she isn't allowing you to stay with her. You are upset because she won't allow you to stay in the apartment. You wouldn't make her stay in the car. She thinks you should be thankful for what you can get.

She has a male who comes over a lot. You don't like him. You seem to be thinking she gave him a key to the apartment because one you saw on a hook is missing.

You think she is an alcoholic.

You are trying to decide if you should try to work on the marriage or walk away.

First, where is your son in all of this?

Second, how old is your daughter?

Three, what happened before she left North Carolina?

Four, how long have you been in New York?

Five, what did you leave behind in North Carolina? Can you go back there and be more stable than you are now? Do you have any resources to get a job and place to stay in New York?

Something that leaps out at me is that you say you have cheated in the past. Is this something you have tried to work through with her? Is this part of why she left?

Have you accused her of cheating during the 18 years in North Carolina? How was your marriage before she left?

I think if you are going to try to work on the marriage, you need to get your life straightened out. Marriage counseling would probably help, but you need to be in a more stable living arrangement as soon as you can.

If you would be more stable in North Carolina, would she be willing to move back there if she thinks you are willing to work with her on the marriage?

Why do you think she is an alcoholic? Do you drink? Was alcohol causing problems in your marriage before this?