I have been living single/divorced in my home purchased in my last marriage for 15 years now. I own my home myself. I have been divorced for 11 years now from my first marriage. I just got married (Second Marriage) 2 months after a rocky dating period of about 1 year. This is my second marriage.
Previously for my 11 years single I had for the most part enjoyed being single, and really have only been alone for only 1 years since both my teenage daughters lived with me after my first marriage ended 11 years ago. They are both married now, and have kids of their own, and I am very close to them. So I have lived alone for about 1.5 years now.
I dated a woman Beverly (Not her real Name) for almost 10 years (Off AND On) while my kids lived with me but never wanted to marry her, she was attractive and pretty, but laid back, and more introverted then spontaneous like myself, I am more extroverted. We never lived together both had separate homes. Anyway I would secrectly date other woman even while seeing her on the side for years over this 10 year period. She must have known I was doing this because I would not call her for weeks at a time, but eventually we would just out on a date or two, dinner and a movie. Seemed normal for us, I kept looking for a better woman, and she was OK to sit at home and wait till we might get together again. We did break up severe times but always got back together again somehow when I got lonely again she enjoyed or conversations and the way we were such close friends.

I dated numerous woman on the internet, and really enjoyed the joy of meeting someone new and exciting, most never worked out for long, I always found fault and ended the relationship.

Then last year I met a woman Sally (Not her real name) from an internet dating site that I felt was sexy, intelligent, witty, emotional, and we fell in love almost immediately, talked for hours, held hand, all the stuff that romance is made of. I felt Sally was "Cute" but not actually "Pretty" in her appearance, I seemed to overlook that fact as she had a cut sexy body, and could dress pretty cute in her own way. I felt all those romantic feelings that I loved and seemed to crave. We dated for 4 weeks and I asked her to marry me, but several weeks later I pulled back thinking we were not ready, Actually I was the one not ready, and did not want to give up my single lifestyle, and believe it or not, I still would go out with my old girlfriend Beverly (The 10 year old relationship) again once in awhile, I guess I hoped we would fall in love again, but I never could quite get the feeling back with her, even though deep down inside I think she was always "The one " for me.

ANyway my new girlfriend Sally was getting inpatient with me as I only wanted to date on weekends, and I was losing my physical attraction for her, She tried to end us several times in those last few months and I or she would get us back together. Finally in September 06 we called it quits, and she cut me off coldly, no phone calls, no email. This lasted for 3 weeks and I was devastated, I lost 12 Lbs, could not sleep, and was an emotional wreck.. I swore to myself if we got back together I would sell my home, and everything I owned to start a new life with her. Well on the 4th week she called me and wanted to talk, we met and being the emotional romantics we are I told her I would give up everything for her, and she accepted my offer of engagement. We then lived together for 3 weeks in preparation of marriage when I did not know was she was at least five thousand dollars in debt, $2500 in credit card debt. I shrugged it off thinking it could be resolved, but find out she has no control over money, can't save any, and has nothing of value, lives pay check to pay check, and two year ago she and her ex husband filed bankruptcy. When I found out I wanted demanded Prenup agreement stating we keep all finances individually. I did not want to get involved in her debts, and I did not want some bill collector coming after me and my assets. She agreed, and I wanted to protect my home, and my savings account I have worked on my whole life to save. Not much b any mean but may allow me to one day retire with my house paid off, and a few grand in the bank to help live on for a few years.

Sally and I were happy in the 3 weeks before marriage, but after the marriage everything went downhill. Her 20 year old son moved in (Very nice kid) but it took away the private part of our life, and we ad to move all her stuff into storage, and she also had two small dogs that are incontenent and hard to deal with. I have Big Large Yellow Lab, and the one little dog starts fights with mine all the time. I do not allow dogs in my bed on on my furnature, she thinks this is OK, I will not allow it. And now my house is full to the brim of her stuff and my stuff, and I personally own more than 10 men should own in gadgets and stuff. My Garage is stacked to the brim full of boxes that need to be sold and a yard sale or eBay. We are no longer intimate, and I am no longer attracted to her as I once was, in fact I do not fine her attractive.

Now I wonder what I found attractive in her to begin with. We have already discussed divorce in a non angry way, but it still hurts. She want to make it work, I really don't, and she wants to be realistic. She is not very organized, can't keep a clean house, can't cook well, is emotionally up and down, and hard to live with at times. And to be honest I am very hard to live with, and have a ton of problems on my own.

I think we made a big mistake getting married, and I feel an obligation to help move her out and get her another apartment, I know this will cost me a few thousand, but I want my single lifestyle back. I'm pretty sure this is the right thing to do, and she would be much happier on her own again, even though she will end up bankrupt all over again in time as she can't manage her money.

As for me I want to be single again, I like being in control of my life, and have the freedon to go as I please, and visit my kids when I want to , go take a weekend off when I want to and have no one else to contend with. I think I should be single, I don't share things well, and I want to be in control of what I own. Another big mistake is her living in "My Home", I was sure we could make it "Our Home" but I don't think that is possible, deep down inside I feel it mine. I bought it 15 years ago, and I won all the equity in it. She come in brankrupt and broke, and wants to have an equal share in everything. I just don't think that will ever happen. I am to posessive and I have seen many men loose everything in a divorse.

So I am the worst man alive right?
A Looser?

AM I doing the right thing here? IS a divorce the right thing to do now?
It will only be worse later, the longer we wait, and I don't see how it could possile work out.

We have both talked with councelors with no real answers.
I think we are set in our ways and at 55 will not change..

Help anyone?