I've been married almost 31 years. Children raised and on their own. Grandchildren now. Over the years, I've had many affairs. Actually thought that part of my life was over and it was time to accept I was getting older and accept where my life had led me.

Then I met a co-worker face to face. We had worked together telephonically and e-mail many times. When our eyes met it was like lightning or electricity. On the last night of that first visit together we stayed up all night talking. Nothing except a quick peck happened, but later we exchanged our personal e-mail accounts.

Over the next month the e-mails got progressively hotter. Finally, we arranged another meeting. Fireworks, explosions, everything and like nothing ever experienced before. Unfortunately, after several months I was discovered by my wife.

She wants to work it out and I've been trying (at least that's what I say). I haven't stopped the other relationship, just gotten much more careful.

So here's the question. Should I stay or go.

If I stay, the passion and love of one will be lost. I will miss that terribly. However, I will retain all the material things I've accumulated all my life. I love my wife, but not the same way, more of a familial way. In fact, marital relations sometimes repulse me.

If I go, I will most assuredly lose a lot financially. And I fear the love of my life is driven by the fact that it's "dangerous." We've talked about so many things and I have never hidden anything from her (I can't seem to not tell her everything). With her I understand everything my wife describes about her feelings for me.

I really, really would like to find a solution that has the least hurt for most people, but cannot seem to find the way.

Suggestions? Advice?