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    wrappedup's Avatar
    wrappedup Posts: 15, Reputation: 5
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 10, 2006, 08:45 AM
    Married
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    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Feb 10, 2006, 09:03 AM
    He may very well be in it just for the sex.

    What good can come from this except 2 ruined marriages?

    I hope you would consider an effort toward deepening your relationship with your husband rather than pursueing it with the co-worker.

    Consider too: Even if he said he loves you, I think it would be sort of meaningless since he's willing to cheat his wife - whom he also says "I love you" to.

    Does that make any sense?

    PS/Edit. I'm now wondering if I should have piped in. I don't want to be seen as "preaching" and hope y'all can see from my posts that I typically don't.
    nwsflash's Avatar
    nwsflash Posts: 530, Reputation: 73
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Feb 10, 2006, 09:45 AM
    Hi welcome to the forum

    I'm married (5 years now) and I've been having a sex-only affair with a married co-worker. At the time he was newly married and now his wife is expecting. It's been going on for almost 2 years now. It didn't take me long to fall for him.

    My question is, is it possible that he does not have feelings for me? A year ago I expressed my feelings for him but he told me his feelings in that respect were elsewhere. How can he not feel anything for me?? Is he stopping himself from feeling anything? And if he doesn't feel anything for me why would he carry on this affair for so long?
    No he ain't stopping himself from feeling anything he love's his WIFE and CHILD, the same way you should love your husband... I'm going to be a little blunt but this guy is using you for SEX on the side end of.

    You and your husband may be better seeking counseling for the two of you. This guy as already told you 12mnths ago that he is happy with his wife and feels nothing for you... You would be best to end the affair before you both end up with your ***'s in court because of what you and this Co Worker have been doing, get a little respect for yourself, do you want to be some woman on the side?? Do you really want to screw up what you have with your husband??

    9/10 times these things never work out! There just some fun your looking for, why not try and re-light the flame with your husband you married..
    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Feb 10, 2006, 09:53 AM
    Here is an awesome thing for you and your husband to consider:
    A Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend.

    It is not recommended for marriages that are "on the rocks", but for couples who are serious about improving the relationship. My wife and I attended about 6 years ago and what we learned there is still fresh.

    Attend one of these weekends and I guarantee you will come out of it a different person.

    In fact, I'll even put up a donation for you if you decide to do it. Really.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Feb 10, 2006, 09:58 AM
    I find it amusing that you start saying your having an affair just for sex and you end up wondering if he has feelings for you,Let me tell you since his wife is pregnant and he maybe cut off at home he probably is very glad your there to take care of his needs and on top of that your cheaper than a prostitute and because your married also you'll keep your mouth shut except when your with him having sex.Of course he loves you and as long as you service him on his terms he always will.Just a little advice though don't leave your husband or quit your day job!:cool:
    nwsflash's Avatar
    nwsflash Posts: 530, Reputation: 73
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Feb 10, 2006, 10:15 AM
    I find it amusing that you start saying your having an affair just for sex and you end up wondering if he has feelings for you

    Little advice though don't leave your husband or quit your day job!

    Your cheaper than a prostitute
    This dude is just out to get his end away!! Give him up before you get BURNT
    bizygurl's Avatar
    bizygurl Posts: 522, Reputation: 110
    Senior Member
     
    #7

    Feb 10, 2006, 12:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by wrappedup
    I'm married (5 years now) and I've been having a sex-only affair with a married co-worker. At the time he was newly married and now his wife is expecting. It's been going on for almost 2 years now. It didn't take me long to fall for him.

    My question is, is it possible that he does not have feelings for me? A year ago I expressed my feelings for him but he told me his feelings in that respect were elsewhere. How can he not feel anything for me??? Is he stopping himself from feeling anything? And if he doesn't feel anything for me why would he carry on this affair for so long?
    I think you have defenitly read way into this fling that you have had with this guy. Were you really hoping that he would say I love you and leave her? The only reason why he had carried this affair for so long was that he only wanted sex and nothing more. He has no respect for you. You should have ended it two years ago when he didn't give you the answer you wanted, now two years later has gone by and your now wondering if he's changed? I would end it.

    I hate to say this and it may sound a little harsh but what kind of woman cheats with a married man who's wife he just married and is expecting a child. I think that's disrespectfu and trashy on his part but more so on yours for even carrying on with it for two years. How would you feel if you were carrying his child and he cheated on you with some girl that could care less about your feelings. Im not trying to make this into some sort of bashing session on you, but sometimes people need to hear the truth, and I know people all make mistakes and judgement gets clouded, but come on! Do you think his wife deserves that?
    If I were you, I would just get out of the situation because he is using you. Get yourself respect back and stay away from this a--.
    giggles's Avatar
    giggles Posts: 143, Reputation: 27
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Feb 10, 2006, 12:34 PM
    Well said bizygurl, have to spread some reputation though, I wasn't allowed to agree with you.
    wrappedup WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! He's never going to leave his wife for you (why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free as we say here) If he really loved you, he would not CONTINUE a fling with you BECAUSE of his marriage and because of your feelings.
    If he really loved you, he would not just F*** you, he would have a relationship with you. This is about sex, and sex only,and yes it is possible to sleep with someone for two years and want only that. You are fulfilling needs in each other. That is what you are to him too. Please see that. You are causing yourself a LOT of heartache.
    And another thing - why are you married? HALF your married life has been spent rummaging in someone else's trousers.
    You are really trying to confuse yourself! This man is having a child. Let him be a proper father and husband to this poor woman who ended up with him. He's having his cake, eating it, and you are the unfortunate cherry on the top - no matter how good the sex is, your head doesn't appear to be able to compartmentalise any longer. Get out now before you either A: do serious damage to your emotional health B: get caught C: get pregnant

    And I really hope for your husband's sake you are using protection!
    I'm being harsh because I think this is a horrible situation. Sorry. But I think it's not going to do ANYONE involved any good. I don't see a happy ending here unless you either repair your tattered marriage or end it and start again, alone. I hope you make the right decision for yourself.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Feb 10, 2006, 02:17 PM
    I agree. I'm sure he likes you (after all 2 years, the sex must be good).

    But does he love you? Since he said no, I am going to go with no

    He loves the sex though. And that's all it is. You ask if it is possible for him to enjoy having sex with you, love his wife/child and not love you in that way? The answer is yes.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Feb 10, 2006, 03:59 PM
    It's an affair... you even said it was only for sex.

    Of course he USING you for sex!! There's no feelings from him. He would have ended his marriage lone ago. WAKE UP!!

    You're both liars and cheaters.

    WHY are you doing this?? If you're unhappy in your marriage GET OUT!!

    I sounds like he likes his marriage PLUS FREE SEX on the side from a not so smart women.

    Of course he is only in it for the sex.

    Do this... cut off the sex... see if you EVER hear from again. I assure you - YOU WILL NOT!!

    I feel bad for your husband being married to you - what a sap.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #11

    Feb 10, 2006, 07:18 PM
    Men haved sex for the pure fun of having sex, no emotion, no caring except for how good and how much sex they can have.

    You said, it was suppose to be for the sex, that is what you got.

    You have a husband and where is your "love".

    You are being used like a worn rug. Most likely this will end up you losing your husband and this guy both.

    You need to get some relistic ideas about your ideas on what is right.

    If you don't love your husband, stop treating him like trash and leave him.

    You are no where with this affair, beside being a fun ride.
    lilfyre's Avatar
    lilfyre Posts: 508, Reputation: 98
    Senior Member
     
    #12

    Feb 10, 2006, 08:58 PM
    My question is, is it possible that he does not have feelings for me? No he is married

    If he doesn't feel anything for me why would he carry on this affair for so long? Sex

    You need to move on, to an unmarried man, sorry better yet, tell you husband what he is not doing for you that way you will not go else where
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Feb 11, 2006, 12:38 PM
    Again - cut the sex and see what happens - see him run.
    gypsy456's Avatar
    gypsy456 Posts: 319, Reputation: 48
    Full Member
     
    #14

    Mar 29, 2007, 07:33 PM
    I'm married (5 years now) and I've been having a sex-only affair with a married co-worker. At the time he was newly married and now his wife is expecting. It's been going on for almost 2 years now. It didn't take me long to fall for him.

    My question is, is it possible that he does not have feelings for me? A year ago I expressed my feelings for him but he told me his feelings in that respect were elsewhere. How can he not feel anything for me?? Is he stopping himself from feeling anything? And if he doesn't feel anything for me why would he carry on this affair for so long?


    YOU MUST BE JOKING...
    YOU STARTED AN AFFAIR WITH SOMEBODY WHO JUST GOR MARRIED... 'JUST FOR THE SEX' AND NOW YOU ASK YOURSELF WHETHER THIS MAN HAS SINCERE FEELINGS FOR YOU...


    ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS QUESTION..?
    IT SEEMS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT HE IS USING YOU...

    GET REAL... AND FOCUS ON YOUR MARRIAGE.
    mckenzie134's Avatar
    mckenzie134 Posts: 647, Reputation: 67
    Senior Member
     
    #15

    Mar 29, 2007, 08:43 PM
    Loser!!

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