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empty soul · Jul 17, 2008, 06:26 PM

I relocated from South Carolina to live with her family but they treat me like crap. People here in naples Florida are fake and I want to go back home Its never good enough for her family what shouls I do I really love my wife and son but things are not going to work out here in Florida and she does not want to go to South Carolina. I can not live with out my wife and son but she does not fill up my heart or even talk to me about my emptyness its her way and her way only. Should I get a divorce??

ioanna66 · Jul 17, 2008, 07:35 PM

Have you talked with your wife about this? Let her know how serious you are and tell her you want to begin going to a counselor with her. If she is anywhere near okay with this, you schedule the first appointment. Don't just jump at divorce. I just divorced after 20 years and it's hard on everyone, even grown kids. How old is your son? How long have you lived in Florida? Maybe you should go to counseling on your own if your wife isn't open to it, to see what, if anything, you can do to adjust to the new area. For sure let your wife know that you are unhappy with the way her family treats you. My husband is only three hours away, but he doesn't get to enjoy any of our son's ball games, and I hate to send my son away for week-ends. I don't know either what your religious beliefs are either, but even without God in the picture, leaving your son can't be right.

Stringer · Jul 17, 2008, 07:39 PM

I don't know really where to begin Empty.

1. I have had a condo in Naples Florida for over 7 years and find the people to be very nice in general. I found them mostly to be "move-ins" from up north.

2 I don't know how old you, your wife and your son are... and yes that has some bearing; maturity.

3. How long have you given this situation in Naples? A week, month, a year, have you really tried, cause it just may save your marriage and family?

4. You may not like or appreciate this one: And I might be off center on this, but the part about how her family treats you like "crap" and your wife doesn't understand your emptiness and her way only stuff...

Well not knowing her side or her family's side of all this, it sounds a little self centered, based upon the little information available here.

Are you working? Are you a good father and husband? Do you provide for your family? Do you have your own place? Are there reasons her family treats you like this? AND the big one... why doesn't your wife want to go back to South Carolina? Could there be a reason..

Give me some more info to go on...
Stringer

maliceluvsyou · Jul 17, 2008, 07:40 PM

I think you should sit down with her and really talk it out. Tell her that if your family was treating her like crap that you would not stand for it and she should the same. She has a new family with you and your son and you two should come first. Tell her that it would really make you happy to be back at home and she should really consider your feeling because you are her husband. I would never allow my family to treat my husband like crap, NOWAY! If not then you don't have to stick around to be mistreated.

George_1950 · Jul 17, 2008, 09:22 PM

I don't understand why you use the 'd' word so quickly. It took time for you to meet and it takes time to work through grown-up issues, especially after a child is born.

simoneaugie · Jul 17, 2008, 10:02 PM

You sound lonely to the point of breaking. Get counselling, if she isn't willing to join you, then go alone. You may feel desperate and dejected but divorce is not a chance to jump at. Divorce is, the rest of your life. Some friends in the new area you're living in would help a lot, try doing things that you enjoy, meet people.

I know what you mean about people seeming fake! They seem the fakest to me when I'm down on myself... So I'll tell you this old story my grandpa told me.

An old man worked at a railroad station. Some people got off the train, looked around and asked him, "what are folks like around here?"

He responded, "what are they like where you come from?"

"Oh, they're ever so friendly and nice. They help out anyone who needs it and would give you the shirt off of their back!"

The old man smiled and said, "that's great, they're just like that here."

Another couple got off the train and asked the old man the same question. He asked them, "well, how are folks where you come from?"

"They are the meanest, most selfish bunch of jerks you could imagine! They lie to your face, throw rocks at your children and steal the shirt off of your back"

The old man smiled and said, "well, folks are the same way here."

talaniman · Jul 17, 2008, 10:15 PM

I think things will look different when you get familiar with your surroundings and more involved with building a life. Do you have a job at least??

Takes time, so why bail when work is needed, on your part??