I’m a 27yr old male and I’m still a virgin. My life sucks huh? I just so want to lose my virginity and I think I have found the prefect woman to help me out. We work together and I’ve known her now for almost 4 years. But the thing is she’s married and I could be falling in love with her. Although I know that nothing could possibly happen between us as I don’t want to destroy her marriage but she is just so prefect, she’s the whole package. Were very close friends so I really don’t know if I should mention the love thing to her and that I’m a virgin (she might just might help me out) but it could bring us closer or not. But she’s down to earth so she’ll understand, won't she? Should I tell her how I feel and on the side hoping she'll help me out with losing my virginity? Any help here would be great.

Some folks say romance and friendship don't mix really well. I wouldn't do what you are thinking about. Accept her friendship for what it is; get out there and find you some girlfriends: hiking clubs, book clubs, dance class, meditation class, etc.

Oh John - I am sorry your find yourself in this situation.

First off, it's okay to be a virgin, but I do understand you wanting to have your first experience.

John, no. If you were truly her friend - You would want the best for her and secretly hoping that she would betray her husband, put her family at risk and perhaps destroy any happiness she may have, would not be being a very good friend to her.

I think your desperation in wanting to losing your virginity is clouding your very good judgement.

Find ways to be around single girls. Go out and meet people and not to seek someone to help you loose your virginity, but to meet someone that you will see all the wonderful qualities that you possess.

There will be a day that you find someone that will make you the center of their life and together you both will be free to express how you feel by sharing one of the most beautiful
Moments two people can share.

Until then - change your thought patterns and remember part of being a friend is wanting the best for them. Want better for your friend and yourself.

Wishing you the best

Have you heard of singles bars, where single people go to find matches? Or clubbing?

If this woman is the perfect woman as you say, she would hit/slap you when you mention a sexual relation with her, or charge you for sexual harassment in the company and have you removed from your job.

What is it you are looking for - lose your virginity or love?

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with being a virgin at your age, so don't feel bad about that.

This woman is off limits as she is married- bottom line. If you care for her at all, as a friend or otherwise, don't make a move on her. She probably will be angry, possibly might return your interest, but then she would be cheating and putting her marriage at risk (not to mention the risk of hurting her kids if she has any). That wouldn't be good for her or you. I wouldn't say anything to her, if it was me, and try to limit the time you spend with her until you get over her a little.

Try to figure out what it is that you find so attractive about her (other then physical appearance). Is she funny, outgoing, compassionate, smart? Once you find out what it is that attracts you, you can look for those good qualities in single people.

Try to get out there and meet people. Ask friends to set you up, go to parties and meet people, get involved in activities. Joining a team, taking a class, or volunteering can be great ways to meet women. If you're religious, church activities can be a great way too. There is someone out there for you,but this woman isn't the one because she is already taken.

Ahh, practice on her and keep in moving!

If you don't care for her, and want to destroy her life and most likely her marriage, or if you want to destroy any friendship you ever had with her, tell her.

If you are a real man and care at all for her, you will respect her love and union with her husband. She is not available, and you should not even be considering it.

Another case of "She's married but since I feel for her that's more important, isn't it?" It's all over the place around here... <chuckle>

Anyway, John, relationships are supposed to make people better. Your relationship with her is in danger of accomplishing the opposite.

If you express your love (it's really just desire right now, not love, but that's another lecture) for, you get:

1. She feels it, too. You start a torrid affair with a married woman. Very romantic from a movie-script basis, but you've taken this perfect woman and corrupted her. And you've become the "other man".

If she breaks up with him, you're a homewrecker and for all the time you're together later, she's a person who can break a marriage for an outsider, so you never ever have certainty it won't happen to you. Nor should you.

If she never breaks up with him, you are frustrated and suppressed, always on the outskirts, no holidays, no real grown up bond at all, just sex. And skulking.

This is bad all the way around.

2. She doesn't feel it, too. Now everythings awkward and the AWESOME friendship you have is gone forever. This is the REAL loss.

So, dude, keep things appropriate. If you do "love her", then act lovingly. Respect her life choices and keep your mouth in check.