Hi again,
My husband and I have been married for 2 months now but we've known each other for quiet a while.. Lately we have had some discussions and our disagreements(which marriage doesnt) but last week though he had mentioned something that really bothered me and still does till this day.. Even though I have spoken to him about it, I still can't get over it.. Last week, he was telling me about his supervisor and how him and her get along quiet well.. He said that, they usually talk about movies and electronics(something that he is really into to).. He also added that she has a boyfriend that also works in their same department.. He told me that night that his supervisor told him that her boyfriend gets really jealouse with her talking to guys and especially to my husband.. My husband also told me that he told her that I was a little jealouse myself and how they both giggled about it.. When he was telling me that, I felt the heat of anger flowing all over my face and body.. He also told me that her boyfriend tends to look at him with a bad face cause he doesn't like the fact that they both speak to each other all the time.. Then my husband also mentioned, that her boyfriend shouldn't be acting that way cause it isn't his fault that my hubby and her both come in at the same time to work, park close to each other, and sit next to each other at work.. That night I blew up on him because why would that chick's boyfriend be so jealouse unless there is something up.. my hubby might be flirting with her or something.. I also blew up cause I remembered that one night I looked through his cell phone and saw a message from his supervisor telling him about a movie that she didn't get to go watch at the theaters and how she was so sad about it-he responded to her.. but at that time I didn't care much cause I didn't know exactly what was happening between them.. My husband already knows that I am a jealouse type, and that at times I look through his cell cause I feel like he is hiding something from me... I noticed before that he would get certain text messages from buddy friends @ work and sometimes from her as well but now he deletes them cause he knows I look through them.. I asked him one time that why he deletes the messages and he said that cause he knows that I look through his messages and he deletes them to bug me.. like for example a night ago I looked through his phone and noticed that he sent his supervisor a message asking her about if mail arrived @ work and she replyed no.. Yesternite I checked his cell phone again and noticed that he deleted only those 2 which makes me think that he probably messages her all the time but deletes them so I won't see them.. is it cause he is hiding something from me? Should I confront him about why he has deleted the messages? Should I be worried? You think he does this to see how jealouse I get and if I really love him? Honestly, Iam much more attractive than he his (everyone tells me that) but since I am so in love with him I see him very attractive.. sometimes I even wonder that I am so much better to be acting the way I am.. what should I do?

I wouldn't let it bother me so much because I have noticed that many guys get off on the fact that girls are jealous to the point they will even exaggerate the jealousy -even when it doesn't even exist. Also, I have seen guys accuse girls of things they never did and are not doing just to get off on some jealousy. I have even known guys accuse their gf's of messing around with other girls because the jealousy gets them off. It is some sort of egotistical fantasy trip for them so I would not put too much stock in what he says. He may be deleting the messages because he doesn't want you to take them the wrong way rather than trying to hide anything.
The supervisors boyfriend works right there with them so in a sense he is your eyes on if anything serious is going on between them.
Just let what he says go in one ear and out the other and wait it out until something more
Upsetting than all the jealousy talk happens.

Flirting is actually healthy if you're a mature grownup. It's a natural and useful part of human nature.

Your jealousy of him isn't his problem in any way. I know you want HIM to fix it by changing his behaviors, but if he does you will both suffer for it. The only cure for jealousy is a healthy and confident understanding of the relationship you have with your man.

He's your man. You married him. You want his libido intact and active and his engines running on all cylinders. Make sure you do nothing to stifle his natural good-nature to people, and ALSO make sure he's aware where all that sexual energy must end up each day... in YOUR bed.

A man who has a firecracker lover at home who isn't threatened by his friendships and daily flirtations is a lucky man who has it all. Can you give him that?

Oh, and not to rain on your parade, if he has it in him to actually cheat on you (and you don't know that to be true, right now it's just another one of your insecurities), but if he actually has it in him to do it, then what? Forget the jealousy, forget "I knew it" or "I told you so"... forget all that. What then? How do you react to that?

My wife knows that there is nothing she could do to get me to walk away from my life-long vow to her. Murder, infidelity, lying, passive aggression, emotional isolation... nothing. I'm in this thing to the end. That's the SECURITY I give her, the vow I made WAS "til death do us part", right? It wasn't "til death do us part ....or unless you commit one of the following sins...."

So, along with taking your jealousies and insecurities BACK into yourself and dealing with them where they SHOULD be dealt with, also decide what kind of marriage you're going to have when things go wrong, too. Decide it and tell each other.

You can give each other strength and assurance, meaning harmless flirting and other friendships aren't dangerous at all... or you can give each other insecurity and rules and "how dare you"... and we all know where that will end up.