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    jaahudson1020's Avatar
    jaahudson1020 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 21, 2006, 10:10 PM
    International Marriage in military.. Could Divorce... What do I do to save our marriage
    My husband is in Germany serving the US Army and since November 14, 2005 he has been gone. I was supposed to go over there with him but yet to go. He says that he wants a divorce and when I try to get the real true reason out of him nothing works all he says is that I know why but deep down I have no idea what's really going on. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Its hurts so bad and without him I don't have anyone. And now he is so far away and I have been really sick but yet he can't come home because I am not dying. So if anyone has any advice about any of this please send your re marks.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
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    #2

    Feb 22, 2006, 05:43 AM
    Hi, Julee,
    Thank you for asking a question here, and Welcome to this site.
    I am so sorry to read this.
    For now, I would just do the best you can, and try to get better. You can go over to talk with him when you feel better.
    Talking about it, in person, is really the only way to find out what is going on.
    I do wish you the very best, and hang in there.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,299, Reputation: 7691
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    #3

    Feb 22, 2006, 06:37 AM
    Is there a reason you did not travel to his duty station at the same time he went??

    Was there already problems?

    Being apart often brings all sort of feelings. I wish there was a good answer but beside you going over there to be with him and try to work it out I don't have one.
    jaahudson1020's Avatar
    jaahudson1020 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 22, 2006, 11:21 AM
    Thank You guys so much. I ddnt travel with him because the recruters said that we ouldn't do it that way but after he got there we found out different. I found out about medical problems abou 2 weeks after he left. But all in all he has left me out to dry by myself. He is pretty much all that I have but oh well I guess because he is gone. He called this morning and sia dthat he was filling for a divorce and I told him not to yet because I have to have surgery on march 6 and on march 25. So now I have to wait and see. But thank you for your adive and comments.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #5

    Feb 22, 2006, 01:16 PM
    If you have a military spouse ID Card and can go on a military base, see someone in the JAG Office to find out about your rights.
    You did not state how long you were married, but you should also have a say-so in the separation and divorce proceedings, just like in civilian life - and also have his First Sergeant involved to try and see if he's willing to go to counseling. Good Luck.
    Skinwhite's Avatar
    Skinwhite Posts: 77, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Feb 22, 2006, 05:01 PM
    Also military bases have Family Support Centers - you can contact them about your situation and they can counsel both sides. Like Chery said the First Sergeant is the best way to get things rolling. Go to the website of the Base for contact information, or your local base for numbers/guidance.
    wynelle's Avatar
    wynelle Posts: 184, Reputation: 21
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    #7

    Mar 12, 2006, 06:39 PM
    How long have you been married?

    I remember correctly, it will be extremely difficult to file while overseas. It has to be filed in either the Home State of Record, or the state in which he is currently residing.

    But important: Why have you still not joined him at his duty station? Do you have a dependant's Identification Card? Are you using military health care or CHAMPUS for your medical problems?

    Second, his recruiter has nothing to do with it. The military won't pay for you to move to wherever his basic training is, but if he takes an "accompanied" tour to Europe, then the military will pay for his spouse and children to be moved there as well.
    Emland's Avatar
    Emland Posts: 2,468, Reputation: 496
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    #8

    May 5, 2007, 06:58 PM
    I am curious why you didn't go once you found out that you were authorized. I was separated from my husband during his last 2.5 years because his tour was unaccompanied. That didn't stop me from flying over, him visiting when in transit and visiting every night via webcam or IM or skype. We webcast Christmas morning and he was "virtually there" during other family events. Is there some reason you don't want to be there?

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