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    supriyatanwar33's Avatar
    supriyatanwar33 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 24, 2017, 01:32 AM
    Intercaste marriage issue
    Hi folks,
    I want your precious views on my story.I belong to a Rajput family.I am B.Tech degree holder currently preparing for govt. services and I would like to mention that I am a national level player of gymnastics and haryana state topper in gymnastics.I want to marry a guy who belongs to Brahmin family and he is from a very reputed background in every sense.He is working in a private firm and earning a handsome salary.His parents accepted my as their Daughter-in-law. My just 3-4 days ago.I told all these things to my family.I faced physical abuse and also my father attempted murder.He used a knife to kill me but my mother and sister-in-law saved me.
    Although my complete family loves me a lot.My father too loves me.I had always respected my father a lot even he has been my role model but all these circumstances are questions in my mind whether my family really loves me or I am just a commodity of saving their so called "IZZAT".
    That time to save my life,I said fine,I will marry the person with whom you want me to.But I really love my boyfriend actually husband we are married now,we had done court marriage but I have not mentioned about court marriage in my family.
    I am confused what should I do in this situation.Should I run away from my family(But it can be possible that they can cause harm to my husband and my in-laws thereafter).
    Should I go to police and file a case against them(But being a daughter of my family I don't want to bring shame to my family). My father has said these lines that he will kill himslef if I will do anything like running away from home.
    I agreed for arrange marriage just because my father was crying very hard and also to save my life.

    Can someone tell me any idea which I can implement so that the " THE MAHAN IZZAT of my parents" can be saved which according to them I will spoil if I will do intercaste marriage.I want that ,no one(MY father) should do suicide and also I can save my life and my in laws and my husbands life.Please help me out it's a very serious case.I really need your suggestions urgently.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Sep 24, 2017, 03:21 PM
    The few Indian regulars on this site haven't been here recently.
    Most of us are from the US, Canada, and Australia.
    Perhaps contact by email the writer of this blog?
    Breathing space in a marriage - The Hindu


    I, being American, would run away, but I don't know all the harm that can happen. BUT you must have known how your father would feel.
    I feel that you owe it to the man you married already! I would follow through on my commitment to him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,107, Reputation: 10852
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    #3

    Sep 24, 2017, 03:28 PM
    According to what you have written you have already married this fellow, but live a lie in secret, so anything you do from here can only cause more but trouble. It will get worse if your family carries out it's threat, and I do not know if that is legal under your laws, or a traditional thing that entitles them to do whatever they decide is proper.

    What does your husband think since he married you under these secret circumstances? He (Nor you) obviously didn't care about what your father would do to him for marrying you. Will YOUR family stop your father from doing anything against the law? I would hope so, but doubt he forgives you, or accepts your marriage anytime soon, if ever.

    It's way tp late in my opinion to avoid a big mess, no matter the reason you lied about your marriage in the first place, and how long before your family knows the truth? My guess is when they find you a husband, and you CANNOT marry him, since you are already married, can you? I think you go to your husband, and hope he can protect you, or your family can stop your father from carrying out his threats.

    You both KNEW you were going against your families wishes, but you did it anyway, so go to your husband and accept what comes next, and deal with it together, or divorce him, and do as you are told. Either way it's a mess with no easy solution. The LAW may be your only recourse in this situation.

    Sorry I could not give you an easy way out of this MESS since you followed your heart.

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