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cnalori · Feb 2, 2009, 01:42 AM

I will be married to my husband for 2 years. The other day my son was on the phone with his real dad. As soon as my husband heard him on the phone, my husband got an attitude. He started saying how I don't show him enough love, why does my son not give him the respect he needs. Stuff like that. At the end, he took off his wedding band and told me we are not the family he wants. When I try to talk to him, he never acknowledges his errors, he just tells me what I don't do right. Over talks me and tries to make me feel less than I am. Does this mean he has a problem, or do I...

trmpldonagn · Feb 2, 2009, 02:05 AM

Forgive me if I am misinterpretting what you wrote but it sounds like you two are not communicating. I believe you are saying that he talks over you? There are right and wrong ways to communicate. There are right and wrong times as well. I don't know how you relate to one another right now but can you ask him for some alone time to talk? Just you and him. If that doesn't work or seem like it will, can you wait till you have dinner together and a few laughs? It may or may not work but you want to communicate when both of you are in a good frame of mind. Things can still go hay wire but it's worth a shot. It is wrong for him to make you or try to make you feel like less than a person as you say. That's just not good. It sounds like it's his own insecurity. I'm sure by now you've tried to reassure him over and over with regards to his position. I'm referring to him being the step-dad and not the real dad. And does he want his own child by you? Communication is key to any relationship but don't take abuse or let him make you feel less than a worthy person. Try not to finger-point either if you two do talk about things. Good luck to you!

Fr_Chuck · Feb 2, 2009, 06:51 AM

It means you both either need to go to a marriage couselor to learn to communicate properly
Or you need a real good divorce attorney.

N0help4u · Feb 2, 2009, 12:06 PM

You can not change him he is in denial that he is the one with the problem so you either need to get into marriage counseling or tell him that if that is the way he feels he needs to explain exactly what he expects. Sounds more like he is wanting everything on his terms so marriage counseling is the only way that someone might get through to him.

Daryldunmore · Feb 2, 2009, 04:03 PM

He does. I encourage my wife's kids to talk, and be with their father. Even let their father ride one of are snowmobiles with my wife's kids.

proudpole48 · Feb 11, 2009, 12:33 PM

I think it might be more on his side, you haven't really done anything wrong.
He might just see it as having a constatnt reminder of your life before he was in it, some guys just can't handle that or feel that they can't live up to it.

This might stem from something deeper that he needs to deal with from his past... being an insecure guy myself I would just assume that he's just feeling like he'll never be able to compare to your son's real father. But he needs to realize he doesn't have to and that taking it out on you is not the way to do it.