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    secretive2's Avatar
    secretive2 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 10, 2008, 07:07 AM
    I'm married, but still in love with ex
    Hi! I really have a serious problem. My husband is military and he has been in Korea for 4 months now, and will be there for another 8 until he comes home. I had decided to move back home with my family. I just recently ran into my ex that I was so in love with, that I couldn't imagine my life without him. Until he broke my heart. We have been texting and talking on the phone a lot, and we both had an affair. He is also married. He was my first everything. I have only slept with him once, but I'm finding it harder and harder not to want to be with him. I don love my husband very much, but I can't seem to get my ex out of my head. What should I do?
    NowWhat's Avatar
    NowWhat Posts: 1,634, Reputation: 264
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    #2

    Jun 10, 2008, 07:10 AM
    Stay away from your ex. Neither of you are available.
    You made a commitment to your husband. You need to stick to your vows.
    zoe12345's Avatar
    zoe12345 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 10, 2008, 07:13 AM
    If you are going to go backto your ex you have to tell your husband, I know that's hard. But wait 8 months for your committed love to return. Best of luck
    mafiaangel180's Avatar
    mafiaangel180 Posts: 629, Reputation: 103
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    #4

    Jun 10, 2008, 07:16 AM
    The only way I would say "you go girl" is if you were married to the guy who threw the puppy over the cliff. If that's not the case... I would say... "What were you thinking?"

    See, if you tell your husband what happened now... that could have unpleasant consequences. You have to tell him though, I just don't know how/when the right time would be. But you shouldn't be with him.

    Also, What makes you think that this guy would leave his wife for you? Has he said that?
    keely123's Avatar
    keely123 Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Jun 10, 2008, 07:19 AM
    You both have the commitment of marriage. If you or your ex thinks that there is going to be anything serious then you should consult your husband on the option of divorce and vice versa for your ex. If you don't think that it isn't going any where then just stay friends you can never have enough of them.
    AlwaysWriting's Avatar
    AlwaysWriting Posts: 131, Reputation: 6
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    #6

    Jun 10, 2008, 08:14 AM
    Do vows mean nothing to you? Also, if your ex broke your heart once before, he'll likely commit the same mistake again. I mean, he's also cheating on his spouse, he doesn't sound like a very trustworthy fellow to me. Seek marriage counseling with your husband when he returns, it hopefully will benefit you both.
    secretive2's Avatar
    secretive2 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jun 10, 2008, 08:29 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mafiaangel180
    The only way I would say "you go girl" is if you were married to the guy who threw the puppy over the cliff. If that's not the case...I would say...."What were you thinking?"

    See, if you tell your husband what happened now...that could have unpleasant consequences. You have to tell him though, I just don't know how/when the right time would be. But you shouldn't be with him.

    Also, What makes you think that this guy would leave his wife for you? Has he said that?
    I want to thank you. You are so right! He never said he would leave his wife for me. I guess I just need advice on how to get him out of my head.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
    		  
    #8

    Jun 10, 2008, 09:23 AM
    Start by getting him out of your cell phone.

    "I need to stop talking to you. TO make sure that happens, I promise that the next time you contact me I will call your wife in response, then your parents, whomever I can think of who can get you to stop contacting me."
    Tuscany's Avatar
    Tuscany Posts: 1,049, Reputation: 229
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    #9

    Jun 10, 2008, 09:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by secretive2
    I want to thank you. You are so right! He never said he would leave his wife for me. I guess i just need advice on how to get him out of my head.
    Focus on your marriage and your husband. Gather care packages to send to him. Write him letters. Busy yourself with things to HELP your marriage not hurt it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #10

    Jun 12, 2008, 06:49 AM
    I guess I just need advice on how to get him out of my head.
    Your action are clearly of a female who needs attention, but doesn't know what to do to get it in a healthy way. Leave the ex or any one else alone and do things that you enjoy and love yourself enough to get a healthier life style.

    That has to start with leaving the guys alone and being a lot less needy and more proactive in your own personal growth, as an independent person.

    My gosh, instead of cheating you could have a degree, or training, for a nice job, or anything else.
    mafiaangel180's Avatar
    mafiaangel180 Posts: 629, Reputation: 103
    Senior Member
    		  
    #11

    Jun 12, 2008, 09:03 AM
    Yep, I agree with Tal. There are so many ways you could be bettering yourself. And when we better ourselves, we get a better idea of what we want.
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