I have been married for 8 years, I love him. He says he loves me. However he don't touch me. I feel lonely and depressed I don't remember what it feel's like to held. He say's mean nasty things to me when I try to talk to him about this. He screams at me like's to turn the problem around to some how place blame on me. I just want him to get the help he need's but he won't and I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. He has never had kid's of his own I have two and are older and moved out. He uses them to hurt me. It is the most bizarre thing I have even come across. He tell's me he don't want to have sex mon-fri cause it's a work week. Then fri night's he bowls with the guy's Tuesday night's he golf's with the guy's Sunday he need's thing's from the store for Monday. Well week is over and what about me. I feel like I come in whenever it is convent to him. He has told me to visit the toy store, I was very hurt by that I am not that kind of lady. He just said to me. What's the point to get medicine to give me a hard on and I don't feel like doing anything anyway. I am not unattractive. It's like I have to beg him for any kind of affection. I am lost and don't know what else to try. I run a successful business he has been at the same plant for 34 years kids are out no problems other than this. I feel like we only do what he wants to do when he wants to do them and I watch him when he is with his friends and he seams to have more fun with them. I deal with him coming in after bars close being drunk leaving me places and talking to me like I am dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Lonely and Lost

Hunny please.. u are attractive as you said and successful, why even deal with that. Take sum control you let him know that if he doesn't change his ways your going to be gone for him and it will b 2 lake 4 apologies. If he doesn't than do wats best for you. There are so many guys out there that will trat you right and give you all the affection you need. So since he doesn't have time for you why even deal with it!

I know that you would like to solve the problems so that you can have a successful marriage. However, it would help us if we were to have a little more information here.

For example: What kind of business is it that you are successful at running and what kind of job does he do at the plant where he works?

Is he having some problems physically that might make him not want to be intimate with you?

I'm just guessing here, but I ask these two questions because 1. Depending on what he does for a living and what you do for a living, there may be some hostility from him toward you because perhaps you are more successful and he might feel stuck in a dead end job that he has had for many years?

2. If he is having some physical difficulty being a man like he would want to be, he most likely is very frustrated because he might not be able to be the kind of man that he would want to be for you?

One more question. How has your marriage been up until problems started to develop?

Thanks!

Is it possible that their was any kind of affair that happened. We can only guess. It sounds like he is angry about something. When did this behaviour start? I think that if you can not help open the lines of communication. See if he is open to marriage counseling. If not, you need to seek out counseling for yourself and your will probably find ways of dealing with this situation better. If everything else does not seem to work, then you need to make a decision about staying in this marriage.

Please, if you post a reply please use common English. We would really like to UNDERSTAND what you have to offer. Thanks.

I faced a simuliar situation after the first 5 years. An affair was the first thing that came to mind. Long story short, he was stressed at work and confused as to how to prove himself to his supervisor. He did not open up to me because to him it meant showing he was weak, not IN CHARGE (which is everything to him), but out of control of his work crew. I had a better situation at work where I was fortunate to have a great group of folks who got along so we could all get paid & leave at the end of our shifts--the bottom line for us.

The rudeness is a tough call. Anger, venting, fear--they all sound the same. I make NO excuses for him. No sex & coming home drunk... Looks as if you two may need some time apart. If not, try to ignore him if you have no plans to leave. Some women stay in abusive relationships for several reasons--however, I do not recommend it.

Yes! Abuse can also be ONLY verbal insults. What? Do you think they don't know what they are saying & the reasons behind it? How does he make you feel about yourself after the name calling?

If he can spend time with his friends and not with you than something is wrong. I could see if he is jusg venting at you and spending time with no one but that's no excuse. I understand you might want save your marriage but its takes too For him act nasty and treat you like s#*t is not right and you should not take it. Do he talk to you nasty in front of people as well? You said you have an successful business do you make more money than him. If this behavior just happen from no more than something is wrong, I should but when I read your post I immediately thought it might be an affair like someone said above.

In the end you can stay and hope things change and hope is one day talk to you about what the problem/s is. Which is something he not willing to do and if that's the case married counseling is at the door. Or leave, its better to be alone than unhappy and being mistreating by someone who should be doing the opposite. Do what is best for you.

Very simple q from me-do you still love him in spite of him treating you like this?
Get him out of your life or better you get out of his life.. such people don't deserve any love.
He is not a child not to understand, its clear he is doing this in all senses and with all purpose which defies any fact that he still loves you.
My advise, its going to be tough but its going to be right for you in the long run-just announce your decision to him..
Will like to hear back from you.