This is my first time posting to something like this, but I am a bit at a loss and would welcome the multiple viewpoints.
I've been with my wife for six years, married for one. We have always fought a lot in our relationship. Usually it was about silly things, and I attributed it to stress about other things going on in our lives. Turns out that she felt I didn't care for her, and was over reacting and getting angry about little things after letting the feelings build up for a while. She wanted me to try to fix things with her but I didn't realize (or didn't want to realize) that there was actually a problem. Our sex life started to dimish and I turned to online pornography for my sexual release. She wanted to have sex with me, but for some reason I didn't want to. This really hurt her self esteem and magnified the other issues between us.
Recently she came home from a trip away by herself and said that she met someone else and that she had feelings for them. I admitted to her the pornography and she was extremely hurt that I hadn't told her about it before. We decided that we needed to try to fix things between us, but she said she needed time to heal before she could. Meanwhile she decided that she had mistaken her feelings for this other man because she was so upset about how things were between us. She decided that she just wanted to be friends with this guy, and I have a hard time with that. He was recently in town for a few days and she took off work to spend time with him. Initially she was going to show him around town, but the weather was bad so they started watching movies at our house. I was really upset by all of this, but my wife felt that this was something she needed to do for herself, even though she knew it hurt me. She was sorry that it did, but decided that it was too important to her.
He has since gone home, and I've asked her to stop talking with him for a while so that we can fix things. She has agreed, although she says she is not ready to fix things yet. She doesn't understand why I need her to stop talking to him, and feels I am just being jealous. She feels that she isn't doing anything wrong by talking with him. Am I being overly sensitive about this, or am I justified in asking her to stop for now.
Last edited by talaniman; Oct 1, 2009 at 12:30 PM.