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    confusedmommy115's Avatar
    confusedmommy115 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Jun 27, 2010, 04:56 PM
    How do I get out of this mess
    I have been with my boyfriend for 17 years now . We split up 4 times and have 2 kids . But for the last 9 yars he's been verbal , and put downs ,telling me I can't do anything right and much more myself asteam was totally gone .I didn't leave the house or have friends . I found my old fame online back in march and I'm as crazy about him as I was back in the high school days . He wants me to pack my boys up and get a place with him and I really want to . But I'm toren between being truly happy and staying for my kids . There father does not work and rigt now my disabillity pays the bills with very little left to live on . He also started putting my boys down and telling them there short comings . One boy is adhd the other autistic . Do I leave him for my sanity and happyness or stay for them to be with there dad ? I don't have a car or anything in my name everything is in his name . The last time I left he called the boys in kidnapped . And said if I leave I will never be with my boys again . Any sujestions( sorry for my spelling I'm not really caring at the moment )
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
    		  
    #2

    Jun 27, 2010, 05:32 PM

    It doesn't sound like they have much of a dad now. I'd rather you just get out of this situation and into a shelter or wherever you can go to be safe.

    Call the crisis hotline, and they will get you and the boys out safely and together.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
    		  
    #3

    Jun 27, 2010, 05:35 PM

    Are the kids better with a person who will destroy themselves respect and esteem ?

    What good is staying doing for you ? What purpose ?

    So he calls them in, and he can get arrested for filing a false police report, who cares.

    AS soon as you leave, file a separation with the courts, check with public aid for legal help on this
    troublemakerman's Avatar
    troublemakerman Posts: 105, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Jun 27, 2010, 06:14 PM

    I agree with Wondergirl and Chuck. Don't run to the old boyfriend take it slow, make double sure he wants you and your kids. Take the kids father to court for child support.
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