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Senthia · May 22, 2012, 12:11 AM

I am 21 years old.Muslim.From Bangladesh.Medical student.My parents are doctors and from well educated and established family.My mom gave me criteria for future husband.He has to be older than me,from educated family background.settled in the capital city etc etc. Last year I fell in love with a classmate.We are deeply in love.But none of My Mom's criteria match with his family.When mom found out about us 6 months ago she became furious.threatened to harm My boyfriends career even.They are not rich and our social status does not match.and his family is not highly educated like ours.Most are businessmen.So My parents are afraid Of what the society will tell.Mom is looking 4 My groom.And told me to end all connection with him.But Its impossible.I have 2 more years to convince them,before becoming a doctor. But I Don't know how.as My parents Don't like this boy's family.please help.

WisperWill70 · May 22, 2012, 12:32 AM

Originally Posted by Senthia

I am 21 years old.Muslim.From Bangladesh.Medical student.My parents are doctors and from well educated and established family.My mom gave me criteria for future husband.He has to be older than me,from educated family background.settled in the capital city etc etc. Last year I fell in love with a classmate.We are deeply in love.But none of My Mom's criteria match with his family.When mom found out about us 6 months ago she became furious.threatened to harm My boyfriends career even.They are not rich and our social status does not match.and his family is not highly educated like ours.Most are businessmen.So My parents are afraid Of what the society will tell.Mom is looking 4 My groom.And told me to end all connection with him.But Its impossible.I have 2 more years to convince them,before becoming a doctor. but I Dont know how.as My parents Dont like this boy's family.please help.

You mention you have two years before becoming a doctor... do you mean you or him? Unless he's a brilliant doctor you might not have much chance of impressing your parents.
You must decide whether you can subsist without the approval of your family and whether you want to risk the consequences or strike out on your own in the name of love and build your own life. If your parents do not understand, and do not give him a chance when it's very important to you - it's likely they will try to control your life in other ways far into the future (as you know). There are cultural reasons for all of these criteria and rules which they learned and are trying their best. It's now up to you.

Senthia · May 22, 2012, 03:37 AM

We both shall become doctors at the same year.
I know My parents are experienced persons. But How can marrying a person according to their criteria make Me happy ? I worry a lot about how to convince My parents, it's really creating tension. :(

joypulv · May 22, 2012, 03:52 AM

As the first responder said, you have to make a choice between family and love. It happens a million times a year all over the world.
I would tell your parents that they raised you to be an educated, thinking, woman, and that includes making your own decisions about love. Tell them that you are cautious and won't rush. Tell them that in the modern world of more social mobility, anyone can succeed regardless of class, caste, finances, or religion. Tell them that you love them and honor them and don't want to lose them, but will if you have to in the name of your own choices for your life.

Senthia · May 23, 2012, 06:46 AM

How to deal with the emotional blackmails?