Its been 2 years since the last confirmed time but for almost all of the first 2 years of our relationship he cheated on me and lied to my face about even when I had proof. He's really persuasive and ended up making me feel bad about invading his privacy even though I pretty much knew what he was doing. He's sorry now for making me feel bad and all. Its just that it was several times and EVERY time but one(he told me about it after he realized how much he loved me and didn't want to lose me so he told me everything, mostly) I knew about before he told me and every time he would say he was sorry and that he would never do it again.

He only cheated once after we got married but every time I get that same feeling I completely revert back to when he was doing it ALL the time. He lets me go through his texts and he'd give me his email passwords if I asked (which I don't anymore so a little progress) but sometimes I feel like its all just a charade and that he's just got that good at lying to me and covering things up. Which, by the way is next to impossible.

He lets me in to every part of his life, he pretty much has no privacy. Sometimes though things just don't add up and it's that same shady feeling. I have no way to confirm whether my doubts are true in these situations. I just think that if its been two years since the last confirmed time AND he's doing everything he can why can't I seem to trust him again? I know he's getting tired of having to prove himself but I don't know how to trust him again. Please someone give me some advice, I love this man and I don't want to live without him but I know I can't keep living like this and I know he's getting tired and I'm afraid I'm starting to make him resent me.