He took a woman he worked with home one night last December, he was a bartendar and she was a waitress. A 15 minute ride took over 3 hours for him to get home. 2 months later I found out the woman is pregnant because I know her and her family I am twice her age and her mother and I are friends. When I told my husband she was pregnant his first reaction was "when is the baby due, does she know who the dad is, and is she going to do DNA to find out? Not the reaction I expected and he certainly came across as nervous. I had already noticed a difference in the woman after the night he took her home as far as her limited conversations with me not chatty like before. So the baby was born in August and according to the date the baby was born the conception date was within days of the night he took her home! He also questioned my sister about the woman doing DNA after the baby was born when I was not around. His best friend also asked my sister if the baby looks like my husband and I have seen the baby and yes he does favor him quite a bit! She refuses to name the father and her mother told me it was someone she worked with at the bar and it would cause too many problems for her to pursue the father?! What problems and why? This baby has a right to know who its dad is and I have a right to know if it is my husbands child! How can I find out if I don't know for sure that they even slept together without losing friends over suspisions? Not to mention my husband! I hate doubting his integrity but he left me no choice and added to my doubts when I asked him about it he was defensive and furious. Am I just ridiculously insecure??

I don't think you have any legal course of action available to you. If your husband wants to know, he can sue for a paternity test. If she decides to go after child support, she would have to get a paternity test to prove he's the father. Other than that, I don't think there's anything you could legally do to find out for sure.

Have you tried just asking her? She might not tell you. Then again, she might be shocked enough at you asking, and feel guilty enough about it happening, to let the truth slip.

Why don't you just ask your husband or ask her straight out?

I agree that the paternity affects your marriage, but you can't force her have DNA testing... however your husband could if he thinks there's a chance that the baby is his.

I agree with you, and for the sake of the baby, the earlier he knows, the sooner he can step up and be a father to this child.

That is his responsibility, but because it will affect your life, your marriage, and your relationship with all concerned, including this baby, you certainly do have a right to know what's going on. Maybe not legally, but we're talking about a human being here.

If I had all the obvious clues in front of me, I would demand an answer one way or the other as well. That would not be something I could, or would ignore.