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    lorraineiwuji's Avatar
    lorraineiwuji Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 4, 2012, 05:58 AM
    Can I go to Africa and marry my boyfriend I haven't met?
    I met my Nigerian boyfriend on line and although it was just chatting at first in February this year, we grow closer and ended up falling in love. We want to marry but the laws have changed. We don’t know how or what to do about arrangements and what arrangements we need to do. I am not working and am in fact on disability.

    I have read all the negative things and all the positive things that has been said on the net about Nigerians wanting to marry white woman for a visa, but to be honest with you, my boyfriend has not asked for anything like that from me and although I never thought it was possible to fall for anyone on the net. I have and we just keep hitting one brick wall after another.

    I know we both want to be together but don’t know how to or what to do, is it possible for me to go to Dakar, Senegal so that we can be together? Would I be able to go to Africa to marry my boyfriend?
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #2

    Oct 4, 2012, 06:01 AM
    How about asking him to come see you? Wouldn't that make more sense?
    lorraineiwuji's Avatar
    lorraineiwuji Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 4, 2012, 06:18 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeedKarma View Post
    How about asking him to come see you? Wouldn't that make more sense?
    Yes I know what you are saying and yes I did invite him,I sent him a letter of invatation with all the documents,then me been stupid started listening to peoples negative words,leading to a lot of arguments between myself and my boyfriend,which lead to delays in him coming over , now the new laws are out and we can not marry over here unless we have met each other first, thanks
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #4

    Oct 4, 2012, 06:20 AM
    Has he asked you for any money yet?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Oct 4, 2012, 06:21 AM
    Where is "here" where are you at. There have not been many new law changes that I am aware of.

    In the US, Normally they come over on a tourist visa, you then marry, and then he applies for a change in the status. At the worst, he may have to run out of the country on tourist visa a couple times a year until a change of status happens.

    Here are some good web sites, I am sure you must have seen them.

    http://www.travel.state.gov/travel/c...s/cis_987.html

    http://www.nigeriaembassyusa.org/index.php?page=visas
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #6

    Oct 4, 2012, 06:25 AM
    I hate to break it to you but the odds are against this being legitimate.

    More info: Romance Scams
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #7

    Oct 4, 2012, 07:33 AM
    Is he a Nigerian in Senegal? Those are two different countries.

    And most important... what DOCUMENTS DID YOU SEND HIM??
    lorraineiwuji's Avatar
    lorraineiwuji Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Oct 4, 2012, 07:34 AM
    He knows am only on benefits here in england and only get enough to get me through. But the answer is no he has never asked for a penny from me , thanks

    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Is he a Nigerian in Senegal? Those are two different countries.

    And most important... what DOCUMENTS DID YOU SEND HIM???
    Yes I know its two different countries he's been living in senegal for 4 years but he comes from nigeria... yes he knows that I have a disability its not severe he knows am on benefits too . He has never asked me for any money he has got most of the money saved for coming over he knows am not rich... am from england hun.. I had to go to my council and get my house checked for safety reasons I had to send the paper work of prof of it been safe also I had to send my information about what benefits I was on also a copy of my passport so it was prof that it was me sending and signing the documents and of course the letter of invatation hun.. thanks for your concern...
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #9

    Oct 4, 2012, 07:51 AM
    My concern is very deep. Never, ever, ever send anyone copies of your passport.
    The benefit papers added to that make you ripe for identity theft.
    You THINK you know this man. You don't. He might be the sweetest most honest guy in the world. He might be doing this for a LIVING, with countless women, as many around the world are doing.
    In fact I would tell the passport office that you sent copies even if you don't say to whom.
    Oh dear!
    lorraineiwuji's Avatar
    lorraineiwuji Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Oct 4, 2012, 08:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    My concern is very deep. Never, ever, ever send anyone copies of your passport.
    The benefit papers added to that make you ripe for identity theft.
    You THINK you know this man. You don't. He might be the sweetest most honest guy in the world. He might be doing this for a LIVING, with countless women, as many around the world are doing.
    In fact I would tell the passport office that you sent copies even if you don't say to whom.
    Oh dear!
    Thank you for your concern hun but the dakar english emassy had to ring me for me to confirm it was me whom was inviting him over,they also had to check with my council to make sure there was no mistake in me actually living here, it was actually the council whom told me what documents I had to send to him hun,I really do know of your concerns but I have not gone in with my eyes shut,,
    Anon9567's Avatar
    Anon9567 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Oct 4, 2012, 08:30 AM
    Seriously? Are you crazy? You met him ONLINE and you want to MARRY him? You haven't met him! How do you know he isn't some next crazy man just out to get your money or something. Sorry but a lot of things like this are toooooooooo good to be true!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #12

    Oct 4, 2012, 08:37 AM
    Actually if two people are truthful and honest (which is where the trouble lies) online we can really find out a lot with each other, using Skype or same, we can have video calls and phone calls free every day. 1000s of people meet and find someone online, it is not much different than those who wrote and married from writing.

    And if you meet them at the local Pizza Hut, you don't know if they are a crook or not, all you know is that you meet them, in fact in person you are at a much higher risk, since wth almost no knowledge you get alone and go somewhere with them in person

    Please understand, we do care, and the fraud is so big,it is tough. I had the "honor??" of being given a tour of one of the Ghana dating business, dozens of people, working 3 shifts, doing emails by the 1000's and getting some to answer them, and they use written scripts, and all types of excusses not to use video cams.
    Often if they do, then they have special girls or guys for this. And have to say they lied about their photos because they were scared but here are the real ones, ( normally much better looking for videos of course)

    But often you don't even email or chat with the same person from day to day, since it depends who is working what shift.
    They will even use skype of other phone systems to have phone numbers for all sort of countries for scam use.

    Good luck, and since this isnot the US I can't tell you a lot about your nation.
    lorraineiwuji's Avatar
    lorraineiwuji Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Oct 4, 2012, 08:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Anon9567 View Post
    seriously? are you crazy? you met him ONLINE and you want to MARRY him?! you havent met him! how do you know he isnt some next crazy man just out to get your money or something. sorry but alot of things like this are toooooooooo good to be true!
    I haven't gone in with my eyes closed and yes I have had many times thought what you think, I have also had many arguments with him also my family over the same questions hun,, but for one I have no money am on disability also on benefits hun so he carnt get what I haven't got, two he is the one whom is getting the money for everything that's needs paying for,, u can not imagine how much we have had disagreements about all kinds of stuff,, thank you for your concern
    Anon9567's Avatar
    Anon9567 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Oct 4, 2012, 08:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lorraineiwuji View Post
    i havnt gone in with my eyes closed and yes i have had many times thought what u think ,,i have also had many arguements with him also my family over the same questions hun,,,but for one i have no money am on disability also on benifits hun so he carnt get wat i havnt got,,two he is the one whom is getting the money for everything thats needs paying for,,,u can not imagine how much we have had disagreements about all kinds of stuff,,,thank you for ur concern
    Well aslong as you think you know what your doing, but don't go all set to marry before you REALLY get to know someone :) just saying.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #15

    Oct 4, 2012, 08:51 AM
    How do you know it was the embassy calling you?
    I've never heard of that happening...
    Again - stealing money is one thing, stealing identity is another. Your 'twin' could end up in some jail somewhere in the world, or could be getting a visa to get out of the country in your name, or could be busy scamming people using your picture, birthday, address, and so on. Apparently you haven't seen any of the horror stories of stolen ID.
    If you want to think you are secure and call everyone hun and act like we are alarmists, then we will all go away. Lots of luck with this romance.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #16

    Oct 4, 2012, 09:05 AM
    The sending a copy of your passport is troublesome, I can't imagine any romance that would involve that requirement. Keep an eye on your bank accounts and credit card balances.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #17

    Oct 4, 2012, 09:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeedKarma View Post
    The sending a copy of your passport is troublesome, I can't imagine any romance that would involve that requirement. Keep an eye on your bank accounts and credit card balances.
    I'm with you and Joy. And her receiving phone calls from the embassy and whoever to "verify" and request" really bothers me.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #18

    Oct 4, 2012, 09:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I'm with you and Joy. And her receiving phone calls from the embassy and whoever to "verify" and request" really bothers me.
    Agreed. An embassy has no time nor do they get involved in such trivial matters. The call was likely faked. It would be easy to test that theory, call the actual embassy and ask for the name of the person who contacted you.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #19

    Oct 4, 2012, 09:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeedKarma View Post
    Agreed. An embassy has no time nor do they get involved in such trivial matters. The call was likely faked. It would be easy to test that theory, call the actual embassy and ask for the name of the person who contacted you.
    And this too -- "they also had to check with my council to make sure there was no mistake in me actually living here,,it was actually the council whom told me what documents i had to send to him." Easy enough to fake. Apparently, she herself did not make any calls.
    lorraineiwuji's Avatar
    lorraineiwuji Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Oct 5, 2012, 02:28 AM
    How many succesfull marriages between a nigerian man and a white english woman?
    Can anyone tell me of any succesfull marriages between a nigerian man and an english woman, I have had negative feed backs and some good feed backs,but I would like to hear from someone who has married a nigerian man , I want to marry my nigerian boyfriend but of course it's a real big decision and hoping to hear from someone who has actually been in volved in marriage with a nigerian thanks

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