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melittledina · Jan 8, 2007, 07:45 PM

I've been with my spouse for now 5 1/2 years. We have two girls. Oldest is 4 years old and the youngest is 2 years old. I am UNHAPPY in my relationship. The first year we where together, when I was pregnant with are first, I discovered that he was sending pornographic photos of him seft and his ex-girl-friend on the internet "Live sex chat". I forgave him. After, I discovered that he stole money that we had for the rent and lied to me about it until I coat him red handed. I forgave him. After, I discovered that he stole his best friend credit card. I forgive him. After I discovered that he stole money from his boss at work and he lost his job. I forgive him. Last October, I got a phone call from another women. HE CHEATED on me! I left him. After 1 week, he tried a suicide attemps with me, so AGAIN I forgive him. I am so tired!! I think today That I am with him only for my children.. He is a good father to them. But I can't live like this any more. I've been thinking of cheating on him to get revenge but that won't work. I just want him out of my life but he won't go. I tell him I don't love anymore but he still won't go. I don't think I am strong enough!
The advise that I am getting from one side of friends is stay with him for the kids. On the other side of my friends they say to leave him.
I feel like I am scared to leave him and hurt my children.
Please help? Should I stay with him for the kids or should I kick him out?

phillysteakandcheese · Jan 8, 2007, 09:31 PM

I'm not sure how he can be a good father when lies, cheats, and steals.

Anyway...

His behaviour will continue. It will continue for sure as long as you keep forgiving him, but likely will continue regardless of whether you forgive him or not. He's made his life choices...

Maybe you do love him, but he's a bad guy. He lies, cheats, and steals.

Don't allow him to be a model for your children to follow.

shygrneyzs · Jan 8, 2007, 10:31 PM

This man lies, cheats, steals, commits adultery, commits forgery (the credit card), and you still forgive him. Forgiveness is a wonderful gift. However, it does not look like your husband understands what that means nor does he understand it does not give him permission to continue acting like he is acting.

A man who exhibits all the behaviors your husband does is neither a good man nor a good Father. His role modeling leaves much to be desired, unless you want your children to grow up and act just like their Dad.

I agree with you that cheating on him would not help matters - that only brings you down to his level. His suicide attempt was just that, an attempt. He did it as an act of desperation, thinking you would feel guilty and then stay. It worked too, didn't it?

It is difficult to do, but you must start thinking about the welfare of your children and your own welfare. Your husband is a big boy now and wants to play all the games. Let him play if he must, but not without you or the children any longer. You are all pawns in his world. I do hope you find the courage and strength to leave and seek a healthier life.

After all your husband has done, he has clearly shown no efforts to change. I agree with Philly when he said your husband's behavior will continue. But you do not have to be a witness to it. Good luck.