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StuckMarried · Jul 31, 2010, 07:19 PM

I have been married for 8 yrs. I will off the top tell you that I got myself into this situation in the wrong way. I got married for several reason and none of them love. 1st was my daughter who is 8 1/2 years old. 2nd was I knew he would do everything he could to take care of her and me if I was there. 3rd I didn't want to be another girl to disappoint him. My husband and I quickly became great friends and soon after with benefits. I later found out that he had always wanted us to a long last couple. I on the other hand wanted to be close to him forever but didn't want to be tied down to anyone ( having just come out of a two year relationship). Anyway the ease of this relationship made the decision for me and now another daughter and 8 years later I am so ready to go. I've left several times and came back for all those same reasons and now it seems like we are on the same page with the this love for each other. However I can't seem to put my kids through the a divorce and I have no way of taking care of the three of us. I feel like I'm using him to care for me even though I know I don't love him like I should. I do still have that close friend feeling which drives me to stay and help him with his health problems and keep his kids in the house with him. What do you think?

kstone2332 · Jul 31, 2010, 07:24 PM

If the love is lost, it probably won't be coming back to visit. If you really feel like this is unrepairable, its best to just end it now. It could be even more miserable if you just drag it out. If you think counseling would help try it out! But it seems like you never truly loved him, so there would be no love to re-connect. Don't stay for the wrong reasons.

Wondergirl · Jul 31, 2010, 07:30 PM

I would advise you to stay and find ways to make things better. Can you think of ways to do this? What about marriage counseling?

StuckMarried · Jul 31, 2010, 07:46 PM

Thanks for the responses. I will admit though that I did love him I just wasn't ready for this type of committement and @ the time I figured it would come (love) and didn't want to lose him or our friendship by waiting... but it seems like I've lost more and more of myself trying to keep us together.

Wondergirl · Jul 31, 2010, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by StuckMarried

Thanks for the responses. I will admit though that I did love him I just wasn't ready for this type of committement and @ the time I figured it would come (love) and didn't want to lose him or our friendship by waiting.... but it seems like I've lost more and more of myself trying to keep us together.

Let's talk about finding yourself again while keeping the marriage intact.