Hi All,

I have been married for almost two years now. My husbands school girlfriend (call her LS) got pregnant with his baby about 3 months before we met. After we met, we just knew that we had a very strong attraction to each other. He however stayed with his girlfriend because of the child. We had an on and off affair when the baby was still very small. LS never found out about it. Things didn't work out between my husband and LS and he went overseas for two years. After two year he returned. We started a steady relationships but there were many issue and troubles as Johann would often get "piss"drunk and then tell all his friends how much he loves his ex - and this all in front of me! I nearly left his because of this but tried to be the understanding girlfriend as LS put him through a really rough time with the child. She would promise him that if he paid more maintenace that he would be able so see the child - This never happened. She would phone him out of the blue and scream and shout at him etc. Before we got married, he never saw the child and never phoned the child. 18 days after the wedding LS phoned and said that he must start seeing the child. He - without even considering me - decided that this was what he was going to do and I must just accept it. I just could handle it. In my mind I married a man with a history of a child - not physically having a child. My guess was that his ex was trieng to get even / or take revenge or something. I again nearly left him because of this.

3 Months after we got married my husband was fired from his job because of problems he was having with the boss. He "invested" all our money in a silly little business wich I was very much against. Needless to say we lost all our money. We could not even sell the business and was left with only my income. My husband then did a course and tried to find employment. We were then advised that he could not get any of the posistions he applied for because he had a criminal record wich I was unaware of. He was arrested for drunk driving when he was 22. Up to now he could only manage to get temp jobs and I am responsible for all the bills and the bond etc. The he still has the nerve to ask me why my credit card is in overdraft

No this leaves me wit a husband that I cannot trust, who does not think about my feelings, who has a crminial record, who blames me for his mistakes, who has no income, and drinks like a true alcoholic.

My questions:

Did I get married to soon?
Are things going to get better?
Will our marriage survive?
And most important of all...
Do I really even love this man?

HELP PLEASE