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    lil_angel04's Avatar
    lil_angel04 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 4, 2007, 11:54 PM
    Confussed on what to do
    I'm 19 years old and my finacee is 21, we have been together going on four years now, everything has been going fine up until we moved in with his grandparents, now he is acting like a little child and not like a 21 year old, I just don't know what to do. For the past couple of months I have regreating my choice on marrying him, but since I love him so much I stay with him. I just don't know what to do about the way he is acting, he don't take anything serious anymore, everything is a joke to him now, What can I do?
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Nov 5, 2007, 12:24 AM
    Hi, Well, on the bright side, you're not alone. It happens to the best of us. When we go back to our roots, mom's house, grandma's house, we revert to childhood. The questions I would ask myself are:
    -How long will the two of you be staying at his grandparents?
    -If he never ever changes, could you spend the rest of your life with him?
    -If and when you do get married, this is the person you will probably be closest to. Now that you know him really well, do you still like being with him?
    -Are you willing to toss out the last 4 years and start fresh with someone else?

    People don't really change as time goes on, they tend to get worse (or better) within the original personality. Wives can't change husbands. Being married does not make having a relationship easier. Marriage will not solve anything, it only amplifies what is already there.

    Do you want what you have to continue? You may feel experienced but you're young. My first marriage was at age 26. It was a mistake because I thought I could live with his problems, or even help him change. My current marriage is a union of two people who have a whole lot in common. I met him at work, we enjoy doing things together even after years. We can talk about stuff that makes us upset. If you can't talk it out, how can you solve problems together?

    Sorry to be preachy. I don't know anything but what I've learned from my successes and mistakes. But it's always safest to trust your gut. Ignore your heart and thoughts for a moment and feel how your stomach feels. Simone
    donf's Avatar
    donf Posts: 5,679, Reputation: 582
    Printers & Electronics Expert
     
    #3

    Nov 5, 2007, 10:48 AM
    Angel,

    You might try sitting his scrawny self down somewhere outside of Grandma's and asking him why on this good earth given to us by God he would ever think that you wanted an infant for a husband.

    Remind him that he is courting you as an adult and not a child. Tell him to suck it up and show his grandparents that he is adult enough to be together with you and responsible enough for the both of you.

    Whether you want to threaten him with leaving is up to you, I personally would not suggest it just yet. I'd wait until he has ample time to show you some change.

    If he is allowed to be the little boy now, then that's what you'll get after you are married. All of a sudden you will become the mother he always wanted instead of the woman he chose to be his wife!
    bigjoplin's Avatar
    bigjoplin Posts: 2, Reputation: -2
    New Member
     
    #4

    Dec 8, 2011, 03:40 PM
    You've been with him how long? My opinion is, you should have seen this already.
    May be it's you that's acting like a kid. Could be a little jealousy because his getting the
    Special attention that grand ma's give there grand kids. But shoot what do I know.
    I don't like been so serious all the time. Yahooooooooo.

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