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carlita · Feb 14, 2010, 02:43 PM

I'm married but in love with a married man. We have been seeing each other for close to a year now. I love him so much and I believe he loves me deeply too. We intend getting married when the opportunity presents itself. I keep falling out of love with my husband. He knows I'm cheating on him but he wants me back and he wants us to work on our marriage. Meanwhile all I do is think about this other man. When my husband and I are making love , it is this other man I see. I share things with the otherman that I don't tell my husband about. I spend long hours on the fon with the other man but it is not the same with my husband. We do not have any kids yet and I intend getting pregnant for the other man who alreafy has two children. Am I being foolish? I'm helpless falling out of love with my husband of 4years.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 14, 2010, 02:54 PM

You divorce your husband and the other man merely divorces his wife, nothing stoping either of you, why has it not happened yet? Just hire an attorney and ask boyfriend to do the same.

When you ask him to divorce his wife, what does he say, If he loves you, there is no excuse, if there is an excuse he does not love you

Devorameira · Feb 14, 2010, 03:48 PM

Wow - what an UGLY situation. You are in the wrong and will be hurting your husband and the other man's entire family if you let this continue.

At the very least, respect your husband enough to at least divorce him before you move on with this affair.

REALITY - Remember that a man who cheats with you will cheat on you! You know exactly what you'll be getting and someday you'll be wearing the same shoes your husband's wearing now.

talaniman · Feb 14, 2010, 03:58 PM

Divorce your husband, and its all good, don't you think?

Gemini54 · Feb 14, 2010, 10:28 PM

It's been going on for a year. Why are you still married? If this guy is SO good, why aren't you with him?

He's married, you're married and you only 'believe' he loves you. Getting pregnant sounds like a way to hold him. Is this the 'opportunity' you're waiting for?

What will it take for him to leave his wife and family? I suspect you're a bit on the side, and he never will. Why should he? He's got his cake and he's it eating it as well.

I suggest you need to be realistic. Stop cheating and start taking responsibility for what is happening in your life. How much longer will you allow this to go on? Many people are being hurt and you're causing it.

carlita · Feb 15, 2010, 03:07 AM

Well, the man's wife does not know about me. It was also through some mistake that my husband got to find out. The man wants me to divorce my husband first and then he will continue from there. He says because I don't have any children with my husband , it will be easier for me to get the divorce first and then he will follow suit. I don't intend using pregnancy to hold him. This is somtething we have discussed at length.

JoeCanada76 · Feb 15, 2010, 05:35 AM

Scam, you both are eating your cake and ice cream too. If it was love you both would be together right now, without any connections to your spouses.

Gemini54 · Feb 15, 2010, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by carlita

well, the man's wife does not know about me. it was also through some mistake that my husband got to find out. the man wants me to divorce my husband first and then he will continue from there. he says because i don't have any children with my husband , it will be easier for me to get the divorce first and then he will follow suit. i don't intend using pregnancy to hold him. this is somtething we have discussed at length.

You're being scammed - he hasn't told his wife, and he's holding off leaving her.

Who's the loser here?

Cat1864 · Feb 15, 2010, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by carlita

well, the man's wife does not know about me. it was also through some mistake that my husband got to find out. the man wants me to divorce my husband first and then he will continue from there. he says because i don't have any children with my husband , it will be easier for me to get the divorce first and then he will follow suit. i don't intend using pregnancy to hold him. this is somtething we have discussed at length.

Because it will take him longer to get divorced, shouldn't he begin divorce proceedings first?

Quite frankly, you need to be on your own for awhile. NO MEN for a few months to find out what you really want in life.

Here is something for you to consider: How much do you think he is going to have left to give you and any child you have with him after his wife gets through with him and the courts divide up the marital assets (if most of their income is his, then alimony will possibly be awarded), set child support, college fund, insurance, etc. and visitation (or is he planning on deserting his children with the woman he promised to love, honor, cherish and be faithful to.) Are you prepared to be a single mother when he leaves you for the next warm and willing body that hasn't been changed by motherhood and time?

shallidivorse · Feb 16, 2010, 05:15 AM

Your lover will never leave his wife and children, you are fooling yourself. You should tell his wife, then you will finally see who he wants to be with. It won't be you, as soon as she is aware you won't see him for dust. That's guaranteed, you know it. Otherwise he would have already left her. Stop now before she does find out, it will hurt her and the children. You could end up with nothing.