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    Dominic08's Avatar
    Dominic08 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 24, 2007, 11:38 AM
    Bothering but has no goals
    I have been in a releationship with a woman for a year and she is bothering me about marriage already. I like a lot of things about her but she has no goal aside from being a model at 26. She also has two kids while I have none. Don't get me wrong, the kid thig does bother me but what really bothers me is the model thing, Does she expect me to take care of everything or what... how do I try to convince her to do something more serious with her life. Just to let people know, I am in the military and have completed college.
    erlobenauer's Avatar
    erlobenauer Posts: 208, Reputation: 9
    Full Member

    Oct 24, 2007, 11:51 AM
    Dominic -
    Your girlfriend has great ambitions, and hopefully she can complete them. I don't know what your g/f looks like, and Im no judge for future models, but I do know its quite timely and expensive to get your foot in the door and on the right track. Try telling her that you are considerate of her goals, but that in the mean time she should get a job, or go to school to help with the expense of it all.

    But I have a question - if it bothers you that she has kids, why are you with her? Have you given her any signs that you are ready for marriage?

    katieperez's Avatar
    katieperez Posts: 236, Reputation: 35
    Full Member

    Oct 24, 2007, 11:56 AM
    Is she 26 now or that's her age limit she's set for herself? It sounds to me like she has a lot of growing up to do mentally. Does she at least hold a job I hope? If not, maybe she's pestering you because she's after the BAH. Perhaps she expects you to pay to kick start her career. Does she have a portfolio and/or an agent? Or is this basically a dream for her? Have you discussed how you feel with her? If you're not quite comfortable with the thought of settling down with this woman, then you're doing the right thing in not letting her talk you into it. What struck me as odd, is that this woman has two children, and still insists on pursuing a modeling career? Which would be okay as long as she goes about it in the right way. Holding a steady, well enough paying job that doesn't make her dependent on someone else (i.e. you) to provide for her 2 children. Even if that means having a job that she doesn't absolutely love.

    p.s. thank you for your service in the military :) It's more appreciated than you know
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350

    Oct 24, 2007, 12:05 PM
    You've been with her a year... was that continually or were you away in the service during that time?

    At the magical "1 year mark" I think a lot of women start wondering about marriage. It could be that she wants to gauge your feelings on the subject. Either way, I would suggest some soul searching on your part. Are you even considering that you could marry her one day? If not, now would be the ideal time to think about ending it. If you can see yourself with her, its time for a frank discussion. Tell her the problems you see coming between you in the future if you stay together. Talk about what sort of married life you'd like to create and determine if you are on similar paths. Obviously you're a goal-oriented man used to discipline. I'm the same type of person, so I can understand how frustrated you are.

    Better to work this out now than in divorce court.

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