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    Need a friend's Avatar
    Need a friend Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Jan 17, 2009, 08:57 AM
    I think my son has ADD school suggestions?
    I think my son has ADD. I have thought he has had it for years. He has one chore, to take out the trash. Yet after 6 years he still forgets. He is unorganised, blames others for everything, gets distracted easily, can't keep his grades up... never could. We will be talking and he will interrupt to tell us something that has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the subject.
    I know kids forget. I know they have trouble in school, I have 4 kids altogether... but he is so different.
    I am his stepmother and have fought my husband and his ex to get him tested. The school says he doesn't have it but I know. My husband doesn't want him "medicated" which I can understand... But he needs help! He is 17 and flunking out of school. His progress report reads like this: A B 0 0 A 0 A 0 D 0 A B 0 0. I have tried everything!
    I have tried to help with homework. I have talked to the school about tutors 3 times with no results. They say OK we will find someone but never do. This is a small school. I have considered a private school but can not afford the tuition. I have considered homeschooling but can't afford to take off work. His father works full time I work a full and part time job, and his "real" mom is now almost totally out of the picture. Any suggestions about schools, advice ideas... something?
    I want to help him I am losing him... I don't think he will survive on his own!
    He was sitting with a blanket at our home... there was a significant cold snap during the day... we had the heat turned down, the house was freezing!. and he didn't think to turn it up!! What will happen when he is on his own!
    He asked me to tell him to do his homework. To make sure he brings it home, he says he can't concentrate except when they make him take a test in a room by himself... I can't go to school and be there to know exactly what he needs to do daily, but he seems to need someone to walk him through his responsibilities. It goes way beyond just not wanting to do it.
    Help please!!
    Need a friend's Avatar
    Need a friend Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Jan 18, 2009, 10:55 AM

    Seriously any advice??
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member

    Jan 28, 2009, 07:42 PM

    I'd take him to his doctor for complete physical, discuss his progress in school and the issues of concentration and taking responsibility, and see if his doctor will recommend some testing so you can know for sure whether there is a concern.
    Once you know if there is indeed a diagnosis, you will be in a better position to get the support he needs.
    michellerol's Avatar
    michellerol Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 13, 2011, 08:56 AM
    As much as your husband doesn't want him medicated he is HURTING his son not helping him. My son has ADD and is on Concerta, I too did not want him medicated but I wasn't being fair watching him suffer, when a child needs help as his parent that's our job. Since my son has been on his medicine he has done a complete 360... Grades went from D's to B's, I no longer have to remind him of his chores or walk by him every 5 minutes to get him to do his homework. The medicine doesn't have to be taken during the summer or on weekends, my son chooses to take over summer break because ehe plays sports and it helps him to stay focused. Good luck, it took me 2 years KNOWING he had ADD before I could get the school teachers on my side in agreeing. You are almost better off taking him to a child psychologist from what I heard, less paperwork to go through. I wish him luck but he really does need the help of you and his father.
    alley1987's Avatar
    alley1987 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Nov 26, 2012, 08:37 AM
    I have adult A.D.D and each day is struggle for me but I'm getting there, medicated does help and sometimes doesn't.. the best that helps is writing little sticky notes around the house for him like turn the heat on to 70 walk the dog feed the dog stuff like it will help him.. and with a.d.d and school we get bored easy the best way to is make it fun for him make songs flash cards highlighting things helps
    jayr1's Avatar
    jayr1 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 7, 2014, 08:41 PM
    I think you should get him tested, but remember, there is no definitive diagnostic tool for ADD or ADHD. Often the symptoms described can fit anyone at any period of one's life. I'd take him to a general physician first, tell her/him what's wrong and if the doctor rules out all other possibilities, (e.g. sleep, allergies, diet, hormones, etc.) then you can take him to a psychiatrist. If you decide to go the medication route, I would suggest really small doses in the beginning. Before you do decide to medicate, I urge you to study his sleep habits and patterns. Remember, there is no quick fix. It took seventeen years for his brain to be wired the way it is, you can't expect a magic pill to suddenly change that, he will need therapy along with whatever medication he may take. Teenagers tend to either act out or withdraw. When they act out at least you know something is wrong, but when they withdraw into themselves; this can be just as dangerous and unfortunately it's more difficult to understand what is going on inside their head(s). Whatever your son's personality, I would suggest restricting his Internet and TV and enforcing a sleep time and curfew, especially if he is having trouble sleeping. High school is also a time many teens are introduced to coffee. It may seem relatively harmless, but caffeine is also a drug, and we still do not know what the long term effect could be on children. The brain of a teenager is still developing and the greatest spurts of growth occur right around adolescence. As important as grades are to your child, they are not the ultimate goal. Some kids do struggle with school and just learn differently and as hard as his life (and yours) appears right now, he may just be building the habits that will help him succeed in college and the rest of his adult life.

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