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    DivineDew9's Avatar
    DivineDew9 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Mar 27, 2017, 01:35 PM
    Colleague asking for formal meeting. How can I turnt the tables to my advantage?
    Hi Id like some advice please: my colleague who is very loud at work telling her private stories loud to everyone does not do her job till the end but does the jb that's nit supposd to be done by her complained about me to my manager. The complain was because I approached her and asked her why she has deleted my name from the room that I allcated myself to work in ( she likes allocating colleagues to rooms even though that's not her job to do it and if she delets someone's names she never lets that person know that she allocated that person in different room). Also she never helps if we are busy at least not my job but interwenes and occupies the room where she not supposed to be because only that room does labels that are urgently needed. Computers in her place where she supposed to be working, do not do these labels and we cannot use PC in her place. At the beginning someone tried to rise that question but she standed still that she won't go to work at her allocated place because she doesn't like it so nothing was done and we still have to wait for the computer to make these labels.
    So she complained first about me and requested a formal meeting (because I asked her why she deleted my name from the room that I alocated myself into, why she is doing the job she is not assigned to do). My question is: how can I win the situation in formal meeting and make person leading th meeting to so how disrespectfull and disturbing and untactical this person is? What can I say in the meeting for her to disappear for the computers which we need to use in order to order the labels? How can I put my points across that she is actually disturbing intead of helping and is disrespectfull and untactical? Because she complained first about me, will her complain will be taken into account only?
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,681, Reputation: 1012
    Uber Member

    Mar 27, 2017, 02:11 PM
    Do not deal with her directly. She is already trying to one up you by asking YOU for a meeting. She is not your boss. Discuss this with your manager and then maybe all 3 of you can work this out.
    DivineDew9's Avatar
    DivineDew9 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Mar 27, 2017, 02:24 PM
    THank you: Our boss suggested informal meeting, I refused because I knew it lead to nowhere only my colleague making accusations and defending herself, and me staing me saying to her that she has to stick to her responcibilities only will be bickering all the time.
    So because of my refusal she demanded formal meeting, our boss told me 'I won't be present because I know you both so somebody that doesn't know any of you will be organising this formal meeting now'
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,681, Reputation: 1012
    Uber Member

    Mar 27, 2017, 02:37 PM
    Not much of a boss if that is their attitude. OK, let a 3rd party run it.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Mar 27, 2017, 02:45 PM
    You refused your boss' suggestion? Bad move. That's a slap in the face of your boss, implying that she can't deal with the issue.

    Oh well.
    DivineDew9's Avatar
    DivineDew9 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Mar 27, 2017, 03:03 PM
    No she cannot deal with the issue, but I refused this meeting in very nice and polite way so she did not get offended. (Previously in the past the boss suggested and informal meeting about similar issue, I complained about bully collegaues ( I cannot fight back because they will complain about me then) and she was supporting those bully girls instead of staying detached, so I had to leave the meeting saying that it just 'not correct running of the meeting, because its all against me', they were putting me down all 3 of them- 2 girls I complained about and my boss. Basically the boss cannot stay detached,- she is very easy influenced by a stronger person and I somehow ended up being victim all the time in that first informal meeting. So Ive learned a lesson about her as a 'boss', but after few months this boss told me: 'the girls you complained about were really not right in their mind'. Another proof that she cannot be trusted.
    P.S: she isnt my direct boss but my boss's boss as my direct boss is sick, so she takes over
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert

    Mar 27, 2017, 04:08 PM
    She's your boss's boss and you refused her. Yikes.

    Okay, when you get to the meeting point out the things you listed in your original post. If this employee is doing everything you say, changing names on schedules, not working in her scheduled area, then there's proof of it. If others have also had a problem with the things she's doing, get a letter from them to take with you to the meeting. Be proactive. If all your complaints have merit then you should have no problem.

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