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    sergie's Avatar
    sergie Posts: 149, Reputation: 15
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    #1

    Dec 1, 2009, 06:37 PM
    Some company policy!
    How the economic recession is going to affect us
    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as R#PE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be R#PED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been R#PED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be R#PED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been R#PED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

    Persons who are not R#PED and are staying on will receive as much SH*T (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SH*T it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH*T, please bring to the attention of your Manager. They have been trained to give you all the SH*T you can get.
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #2

    Dec 1, 2009, 07:36 PM
    Cute :)
    mygirlsdad77's Avatar
    mygirlsdad77 Posts: 5,713, Reputation: 339
    Plumbing Expert
    		  
    #3

    Dec 1, 2009, 07:56 PM

    Nice. I would take all of the above if it meant I could retire at 40.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
    		  
    #4

    Dec 1, 2009, 08:19 PM

    I have had considerable Special High Intensity Training during my career already. Additional Income for Dependants and Spouses would be welcome.
    Unknown008's Avatar
    Unknown008 Posts: 8,076, Reputation: 723
    Uber Member
    		  
    #5

    Dec 1, 2009, 10:18 PM

    Lol! Nice acronyms! :) (wait, that's how they're called, right? :confused:)
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #6

    Dec 1, 2009, 10:22 PM

    Nice...
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